OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! Read Free

MGK can catch LIVE insects with her tongue – she’s had enough practise!
11.46 p.m.
    HAVE TO REMEMBER: she’s my HALF-sister. Not the real thing.
    I’m googling gecko stuff. Need to stop. That gecko is a total symbol of a complete LOVE FAIL.
    OH, GOOSE. And the worst thing is … I STILL like him. I could honestly kick him but I could still snog him too.

T UESDAY 22 ND D ECEMBER
9.10 a.m.
    RIGHT.
    Next year, Goose, you can concentrate on your gecko and I will concentrate on finding a REAL NON-GEEK MAN who puts ME before his pet and isn’t afraid to show his FEELINGS.
    Goose and me can still be friends. JUST TOTALLY PLATONIC.
    The gecko and me can never be friends.
10.23 a.m.
    I can’t believe I have wasted hours on animals when my real dad turns up in 2 days. Am I actually a loon? I can’t think about LOVE or PETS! Goose should have realized I am going through something MAHOOSIVE. I am about to meet the man who is my Jeremy Kyle DNA-revealed-in-an-envelope moment. This is LIFE-CHANGING. NOTHING will be the same again. This is my DAD. The man I’ve been wondering about for years. The one I just KNOW will GET parts of me that Mum doesn’t and who will be there for me when things get rough. Like when you get ignored for a gecko. Or dumped. Or when Matfield at school is a cow about something. Just a hug, that’s all I need. A hug from my real dad will just make things better. I know he sounds a bit rubbish but people can change… He can change. And he’s coming all this way.
    Please let it be OK. I’ve already had one MASSIVE REJECTION FAIL from someone I love.
    This whole situation with Keith feels like it’s happened a bit too fast though. I can’t keep up with my own head. I don’t even really know how I feel. Dimple says, “Just go with it, Hattie,” but the past few weeks have been TOTALLY MENTAL. I have a new dad called Keith, MGK is my new half-sister and I find out my grandad was a Mafia Godfather!
10.46 a.m.
    Actually my grandad was a thieving postman who stole letters and parcels – not a crime legend mastermind. If he had been we’d live in a house like MGK’s with a conservatory and a power shower – instead of a “bloody dribble” as Rob calls it!
11.34 a.m.
    I’ve decided I can’t call MGK “Ruby” yet. Ruby. I KNOW that’s her name but a real name makes her a REAL person with REAL feelings. We all know she hasn’t got any. She’s had complete nice-emotion liposuction.
1.10 p.m.
    I can hear Mum stomping about downstairs. She is not happy at ALL at Keith coming. I have caused this and I KNOW she’s TOTALLY cross at me about it. She’s not actually saying it but my bacon sandwiches are not crispy any more. I heard her tell Gran that it’s the “crappest Christmas since there was a power cut on Christmas Day and you gave me a novelty squirrel nutcracker.” Gran said it was cute and practical. Mum yelled, “Rob can’t look at a cashew without swelling up to twice his size!” Gran told her that nut allergies are all in the mind and that she could prove it.
    This is the most outrageous thing she has ever said.
1.23 p.m.
    Apart from the time when she told everyone at her local pensioners’ club that you can cure the common cold with 2 boxes of Maltesers and an entire bottle of brandy. “The brandy is a natural disinfectant,” she said, “and the honeycomb chocolate just gives you a lift.” She ended up in bed at 2 a.m. with a “men at work” sign under her duvet. It was in her spare room for ages!
1.42 p.m.
    AND the time that she said the ACTUAL men at work could come in for a “hot toddy” post-work so they could collect their stolen sign. Gran says you have to look after the workers – especially the young fit ones. She was right. They fixed her guttering for free and gave her a hard hat as a souvenir. She uses it in the