Hiss Me Deadly Read Free

Flemm?"
    She turned her head, but didn't slow down. "Yes? Who are you?"
    "Chet Gecko. Pinky's brother." Tipping my hat, I gave her my Number Two Friendliest Grin. I let my reputation do the rest.
    "Oh," she said. "You."
    Unfortunately, my reputation had preceded me.
    "I hear your tiara went missing," I said. "Maybe
my keen detective skills can help you find it." I was polite. I didn't even ask what the heck a teacher was doing with a tiara.
    She paused. "I'm listening."
    "Was it stolen during recess?"
    "Why, yes."
    "And you're sure you had the room key with you at all times?" I asked.
    Miss Flemm patted her flowered purse. "Always," she said. "This never leaves my arm."
    "Could someone have taken the key from your purse?"
    "Not likely," said Miss Flemm. "Just try it—go ahead."
    I snaked my hand between the straps and started into the bag.
    Snap!
    The sides of the purse chomped together like a hungry shark's jaws, narrowly missing my fingers.
    "Yikes!" I cried, cradling my hand. "That's some security system."
    "The Little Nipper.
Nobody
steals from my purse," the Chihuahua growled. She continued walking.
    Tagging along, I said, "Then the thief broke in?"
    She sniffed. "No, and the door was locked when I returned from recess."
    We had nearly reached the first-grade building. "One last thing?" I asked.
    "Make it snappy," said Miss Flemm.
    "About your students," I said. "Any sticky-fingered ones?"
    She put a paw to the doorknob and turned. "Certainly not. These are well-behaved, obedient boys and girls."
    And with that, she opened the door and stepped into pandemonium. Kids were flying paper airplanes, chasing one another, dancing on desks, and laughing.
    "Everybody in your seats," the dog barked. "Now!"
    As the door closed, startled kids dived for their chairs.
    Ah, dear old first grade. I missed it. Like a case of chicken pox.

    I caught up with Natalie at the edge of the playground. She was chatting with a fluffy owl.
    "Got a minute?" I asked.
    "For you?" she said. "Even more. Sixty whole seconds. See ya, Madison!"
    The owl waved and fluttered off.
    "So, what did you find out?" I asked.
    "Plenty." She grinned. "Madison says the school fair will have a kissing booth, hayrides, cotton candy, maybe even clowns—"
    My face froze. "Not clowns."
    "What's wrong with clowns?"
    "Uh, nothing," I said, suppressing a shudder. "I just don't like 'em, that's all."
    Natalie cocked her head. "Looks like someone's got a case of Bozo-phobia."
    "What's that?"
    "Uncontrollable fear of clowns," she said.
    I forced a laugh. "Don't be a sap. Now can we get back to the
case,
worm-brain? What did you find out?"
    "Oh, that. The alligator lizard said his dad's digital watch was stolen from his desk at recess."
    "And? Is he in Pinky's class?"
    "Nope," said Natalie, grooming her feathers. "He's in another room."
    I stroked my chin. "Hmm. So we've got a busy little thief."
    "Or
thieves,
" she said.
    "Birdie," I said. "You know just how to cheer up a private eye."
    She lifted a shoulder. "It's a gift."
    "Now, why don't we—"
    The class bell rang. While it may be true that crime never stops, detective work sometimes does. I shook my head and tromped back to class.
    It ain't easy being a grade-school PI.

4. Bad Coon Rising
    You've heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Not true. After spending lunchtime away from our sour substitute, I wasn't any fonder of her than I had been in the morning.
    I suffered through her lessons anyhow. And when late recess rolled around, I led the charge for the door.
    Natalie caught up with me at our unofficial office, the scrofulous tree.
    "Time to compare notes," I said, patting the space beside me.
    She cocked her head. "Are we talking about your fake excuse notes, or notes on the case?"
    "The case, funny bird. What's the
what?
"
    "What?"
    "The
what,
" I said. "Like who, what, when, where, why? What've we got so far?"
    Natalie settled in on a tree root. "Let's see, at recess, some kid—"
    "Or