Hiss Me Deadly Read Free Page A

teacher," I said.
    "Stole your sister's pearls, the lizard's watch, and Miss Whosit's tiara."
    "From two different rooms." I cupped my chin in my hands and stared up into the tree's scraggly leaves. "Hmm. That's
when
and
where.
So what's the
why?
"
    "Someone wants to look pretty while telling time?" said Natalie.
    We chewed this over. "Nah," we said together.
    Natalie stretched a wing. "So how about the
who?
"
    "The what?"
    "The
who,
" she said. "Who's the logical suspect when something goes missing at Emerson Hicky?"
    We looked at each other.
    "Duh," I said, hitting my head. "Johnny Ringo. Why didn't I think of it sooner?"
    "Because you needed my superior brainpower?" she said with a grin.
    I gave her a look. "Smugness is so unattractive in a private eye."

    Johnny Ringo was a plump raccoon with a fondness for the finer things—especially the finer things that didn't belong to him. He was smoother than
silverfish butter and slicker than a sackful of eels in olive oil.
    Johnny Ringo was the black heart of Emerson Hicky's black market.
    This wheeler-dealer usually wheeled and dealt at the playground's edge with his beefy wolverine sidekick. (And you
really
don't want to get kicked in the side by that guy, I can tell you.)
    Sure enough, we found the raccoon moving hot goods underneath some oak trees. As we approached, a blue jay stuffed something into his book bag.
    "And there's more where that came from," Johnny said.
    The bird spotted us. "Yeah, uh, thanks." He flapped off in a hurry.
    "Hey, Johnny," I said. "How's tricks?"
    He grinned and spread his paws. "Tricks are for kids, amigo. Listen, you wanna go stand over by the sandbox? You're bad for business."
    "Funny," I said, crossing my arms. "Business is just what we came to talk about."
    Natalie scanned the area. "Where's your friend?"
    "Rolf?" said Johnny Ringo. He glanced at his digital watch. "On coffee break. Get to the point. You're burning up daylight."
    "Nice watch," I said. "The point is this: A pearl necklace went missing today."
    The raccoon inspected me with his mild, amused eyes. "So? Stuff vanishes all the time."
    "And a lot of it vanishes into your paws," said Natalie.
    "Rumors, mere rumors," said Johnny Ringo. "I get a bad rap."
    "You're a bad raccoon," I said. "Tell me, where were you during the little kids' early recess?"
    His ringed tail twitched. "Where I always am, snoop: Ms. Burrower's class."
    "Uh-huh," I said, uncrossing my arms. "And you didn't happen to step out for a bathroom break and a bit of light robbery?"
    The raccoon bared his teeth. "No way."
    Natalie stepped closer to me. "And you didn't pick up a tiara and that nice digital watch while you were snatching the pearl necklace?"
    His black eyes turned as hard as an extra-credit math problem. "This is
my
watch, friend. Why do I get blamed for everything that disappears?"
    "Beats me," I said. "Is it because you're the biggest thief at school?"
    "I didn't come here to be insulted," snarled the raccoon.
    "Where do you usually go?" said Natalie.
    "That's it!" snapped Johnny Ringo. "Enough of your lip. Sic 'em, Rolf!"

    The branches rustled above our heads. I looked up to see a wolverine plummeting, like an emergency airlift of mean and ugly.
    "
Yaah!
"
    I dodged to one side, Natalie to the other.
    Whomp!
    Rolf landed between us in a shower of leaves and fur.
    "I thought he was on coffee break," said Natalie.
    "Sure," said Johnny. "He broke coffee, and now he's gonna break you."
    Natalie and I didn't wait for the big lug to re-cover. We beat feet.
    From behind us came Ringo's roar, "Ice those creeps!"
    We tore across the open playground, weaving between soccer players and random kids. I risked a glance back.
    Rolf came pounding after us, knocking the players aside like Tinkertoys. He was fast for a big guy. And he was gaining.
    Natalie took to the sky. "Get the lead out, Gecko!"
    "Time for ... Plan P!" I panted.
    "P?" she asked.
    "As in
pick up!
" I jumped for her legs and just managed to snag