Hidden Read Free

gallop around the property kicking up dust behind them.  Free is
the word that comes to my mind.  I close my eyes and tilt my head towards
the sky.  I feel the sun warm my face as it filters through the trees.
 The light breeze is blowing my hair all around me.  I get lost in my
thoughts trying to imagine how it would feel.  How would it feel to be free?
        When
I open my eyes, I gasp.  It’s a boy.  A man, really.  He looks a
little older than me.  He’s dressed in a well-worn pair of blue jeans and
a button down blue shirt rolled up to his elbows.  His clothes are covered
in dust.  He must have been riding one of the horses.  His cowboy hat
shades his features as he adjusts the saddle on the tawny horse and then he
gives the horse a gentle pat.  I watch intently as he removes his hat and
wipes the sweat off of his face with the back of his arm.  His damp, dark
hair falls back over his face and into his eyes.  He grabs a bottle of
water and tips it to his mouth.  From where I am standing, I can see his
Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he chugs the cold water.  He lifts his
head to the sky and consumes every last drop.  He cups his hat in the
center with one large hand and sets it back on the top of his head, and then
using his finger and thumb, he tilts the top of his hat down over his face,
concealing his features once again.  I watch him, completely mesmerized.
 I’ve never been this close to a boy before.  He doesn’t look
dangerous or scary.  He seems to be so gentle with his horse, but I’ve
heard my mother’s screams at the hands of the skinny man in the suit. I know
what boys are capable of.
        As I
study the boy, I don’t feel scared of him. I feel peaceful.  I don’t feel
so alone.  I feel comfortable, and even safe.  He actually makes me
want to smile for the first time in a very long time.  Then I realize he
has been still for a while, facing my direction as I continue staring at him.
 I can’t see his face, but I see his hand slowly rise and then he waves at
me.  I don’t think twice, I turn and run.  I follow the path I made
through the trees and run back to the house without looking back.
         I
return home to find my mother asleep on the couch.  I sneak past her to
make my way to my room.  As soon as I’m past the couch, I run into my room
and bounce onto my mattress.  I lay flat on my back staring up at the
ceiling while picturing the boy in my head. I try not to grin as my tummy
starts to flutter and feel strange.  I’m so curious about him.  I
feel excited at the thought of going back and seeing him again.
        I
continue to go back to the elm every day and watch him through the broken
fence. I read and write while watching the horses and the boy for hours.
 He feeds and grooms the horses and even talks to them. It makes me smile
and even giggle sometimes.  He makes me feel happy, even though we never
speak.  I imagine him being my friend or maybe even my boyfriend and
having conversations with him.  I even imagine him holding my hand.
 I look forward to seeing him every day and those days I don’t see him; I
miss him.
        Today,
I feel giddy.  I practically skip all the way to the elm with my journal
in hand.  I’ve been writing every day and mostly write about him and how
he makes me feel.  I anxiously look through the break in the fence for
him, but he isn’t there, so I curl up under the tree and start writing.  I
bite my lip as I write about the feelings I have in my tummy when I think about
him.  All of a sudden, I feel a tingling sensation spread from my head to
my toes. My insides grow warm. When I look up from my journal, he’s there.
 Right in front of me. Only the hole in the fence separating us.
 He’s so close.  I cower even though he’s still on the other side of
the fence.  He’s much bigger than me and his arms look very strong.
 He takes a step back while holding his palms out to me,