Hidden Read Free Page B

extremely nervous and it takes me a while to
swallow the lump in my throat before I can answer.
        “Mountains,”
I say softly.
        He
pauses, maybe waiting for me to ask him a question but I just can’t.  He
makes me so anxious, I can’t think.
        “Rain
or sunshine?”  I love both the smell of the rain and the warmth of the
sun.  They give me comfort.
        “Um,
both?”  I reply with a question.  Am I playing this game wrong?
        “Me
too.”  He smiles brighter.  He has a nice smile.  His lips are
full and pink and his teeth are straight and white.  He has indents in his
cheeks when he smiles wide.  His smile makes me smile.
        “Morning
or night?” he continues.
        “Morning.”
 I don’t even hesitate.  The darkness brings shadows and nightmares.
 He nods and tilts his head at me.  Is he going to ask me why?
 His eyes meet mine and he doesn’t break the contact as he asks his next
question.
        “Read
or write?”
        “Both.”
 They both bring me comfort and allow me to escape.  His gaze drops
to my book for a moment and then his eyes find mine again.
        “One
more.  Flowers or candy?”  One corner of his mouth lifts like he
might smile, but he’s trying to hold it back.  I’ve never been given
either.  I look away from him.  I don’t want to play anymore.
        I
stand up quickly and look back at him.  “I have to go.”
        “Wait.
 Amy!”  I hear him call out but I can’t stay.  Imagining things
about him and writing about him is one thing.  Nothing good can come out
of actually talking to him.  I’m not just a normal girl next door.
        I
run towards my house, making sure to wipe the last of my tears before I swing
the door open.  As soon as I step into the house, I see her standing in
the kitchen, her fragile frame leaning against the counter.  Her hair is
greasy and hangs limp around her face and the dark bags under her eyes are
worse today.  My eyes fall to my journal in her hand.
        “Amy,
what have I told you.” she says sternly as she walks towards me and stops just
inches from my face.  “Boys.  They’re like animals, Amy.
 They’ll smell you, stalk you, and then hunt you.  They’ll trap you
like helpless prey and then torture you.  They’ll tear at you with their
claws and then take what they want, leaving you like an empty carcass.
 That boy, Amy.  He will destroy you.  You’re dirty.”  She
raises the journal with her hand and before I realize what she’s doing, it hits
the side of my face.
        It
hits so hard, I stumble backwards.  “I didn’t do anything wrong, he just
talked to me!” I cry, holding my cheek.
        “You’re
so stupid!” she yells, her spit flying into my face.  “Get in the shower
and wash his filth off of your body.”  She grabs my journal and points it
at me.
        I
know better than to keep arguing with her.  I immediately walk to the
bathroom and step into the hot shower.  My tears mix with the water
dripping off of my face.  When I finish in the shower and open the door, I
immediately smell it.  The smell of burning paper.  She’s burning my
journal!  My security blanket.  All of my thoughts and dreams.
 I hurry to my bedroom and lock the door behind me.
        I
lay in bed that night tossing and turning.  I can’t stop thinking about
him.  His name is Dillon and he talked to me.  He smiled at me.
 I don’t sleep at all.  I wait anxiously for the sun to rise so I can
go back to the elm.  When morning finally arrives, I slip out the door
while my mother still sleeps.  I practically run at full speed down the
path until I get to the elm.  I can feel my heart beating through my
chest.  My hair is damp and sticking to my neck.  I stop abruptly at
the end of the trail and put my hands on my knees until I catch my breath, and
then walk cautiously to the box on the ground beneath the