Where I Found My Heart Read Free

the picture on my license and I could see confusion flit across his face. I didn’t look like that picture anymore.
    “This is you right?” He looked once again at my face before looking at the picture. His surprised look angered me and I walked over and pulled my cardholder from his hand.
    “Thank you.” The words came out sounding more like a ‘fuck you’ than a ‘thank you’. But in my defense, I was put out by his audacity. I shoved the cardholder back in my jacket pocket and took two steps away from him before I heard the cardholder once again fall to the floor.
    “Hole in my pocket.” I said sheepishly.
    I quickly bent down and shoved it into the other pocket, but not before I heard him laugh softly.
    I bent my head down and pushed my cart. I had three more aisles I needed to cover before leaving and I was determined to do it a fast as I could while avoiding the man with the jolting blue eyes who was still laughing at my expense. And now to top it off, he seemed to follow me. Although I’m sure he was also trying to get through the last few aisles himself.
    I was so relieved when I finally pulled the cart up alongside the trunk of my Ford and I got my bags into the car encountering no one else.
    Once I got home and put away all the groceries, I climbed out of my jeans tossing them back over the same chair I’d found them on and pulled up a pair of flannel pajama pants. I made my way back into the kitchen to cook one of the frozen meals I’d bought, shoved it in the microwave, and took it with me into the living room where I turned on the television. My jacket was tossed on the couch where I’d left it. I slid over and took the cardholder out of my pocket.
    “Who are you?” The woman’s face staring back was a happy face.
    I was still smarting from the man’s laughter, but after examining the picture on my license more carefully I had to admit, I kind of understood. I no longer looked like the carefree girl I once was. I looked older now. Much older.
    I dropped the cardholder on the table and folded my legs under me. Leaning back I changed the channel settling on an old western, knowing I would be safe with my selection. Westerns were full of men, doing macho things.
     
     

Chapter 4
     
    “You need to say goodbye now Reny.” I heard a voice in my ear; minty breath fanned my cheek.
    “I can’t.” I barely whispered.
    He squeezed my shoulders and stepped back. I didn’t turn around. I couldn’t. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Dylan. My fingers grazed along his cheek, his skin ice cold, lips tight and pale. “This is not my Dylan, his lips…his lips were perfect…just perfect.”
    “Reny.”
    “Mom don’t. Just don’t. Don’t say it. I can’t say goodbye.” I hardly recognized my wailing. “Please mom. Help me. I can’t say goodbye.” My whole body was trembling. I mean really trembling. Like you see in the movies. Only this wasn’t a goddamn movie. This was my life, and my reason for living was lying in front of me with his goddamn hands crossed over his midsection, instead of around me like they should be. I wanted to scream till the heavens crushed down on me.
    I held his hand, my small fingers wrapped around his.
    If I could only hold on, if I could only breathe air back into you. If I could only be with you. Help me Dylan, I’m so lost with out you.
    “Reny. Please honey.” My mother’s voice cracked. I could tell she was losing it herself.
    She was as lost as I was.
    We all were.
    I don’t know how or when, but I must have gotten up and left him there, because I now found myself in a windowless room of a restaurant. Waiters were speaking in hushed tones, taking orders for drinks and food.
    Like I could eat anything.
    I shook my head and heard my mother place an order for two meals. I assumed one was for me. What a waste of food, was all I could think.
    I was like some freaking robot. Saying ‘thank you for being here’ to everyone who dared walk up to the ‘crazed