The Willows and Beyond Read Free

would be better if you said nothing more on the subject of tea and toast? Instead, perhaps you could just try to give me a straight and unequivocal answer to a simple question: if Mr Rat does not live here, where does he live?”
    “On the other side of the River,” said the Mole, pointing down through the trees. “It’s about half an hour or so if you go back the way you’ve come and over the Iron Bridge, but a good deal quicker by boat.”
    “Very droll,” said the postman with a scowl. “We are not issued with boats.”
    “I could perhaps take the letter or package to Ratty myself, he is a good fr—”
    “Sir, you have an unfortunate habit of saying the wrong thing: I would not repeat that suggestion if I were you, because purloining mail is deemed a criminal rather than a civil offence!”
    The Mole was not a little affronted by the postman’s attitude, but he was also most curious and intrigued, for to his certain knowledge the Rat had no more experience with the Royal Mail, in either the receiving or sending departments, than he had. He was reluctant to ask further questions, since he did indeed seem to say or ask the wrong thing and had not quite realized the risks attached to dealing with postmen, but quite suddenly the postman softened a little and offered some information.
    “In any case,” he said, “it isn’t a letter”
    “Not a letter,” said the Mole, feeling that repetition of what was said to him was the safest approach.
    “Nor a package.”
    “Ah,” said the Mole. “Nor a package.”
    “Not even an ‘Address Unknown Return To Sender’.”
    “Not even that!” exclaimed the Mole, feeling that he was beginning to get the hang of things.
    “No, sir, we don’t often get to deliver one of these, and seeing as it’s caused me so much trouble I’m not sure I want to deliver another one.”
    He dug deep into the bag.
    “What is it?” asked the Mole, quite forgetting himself.
    But now the postman seemed willing enough to talk. “This,” he said, “is a Customer Instruction to Collect — that’s on this side — and Customer Permission to Receive and Take Away — that’s on this side. Collect from the Town Head Post Office, that is, seeing as the item is too big, or bulky or in some other way not party to the normal regulations. Clearly we cannot as postmen undertake the risk to our persons of delivering such items, so the customer must take it upon himself.”
    The Mole saw at once that he had been quite correct to think that “other things” might be in some way dangerous. He permitted himself a momentary and uncharacteristic sense of selfish relief that it was not he who was to receive this Instruction to Collect, but the Rat. But then the Rat was more practical than he and would no doubt know what to do, or soon work it out.
    “What is the nature of the item?” asked Nephew, as curious as his uncle.
    “I am not permitted to tell you that,” said the postman, “but there is nothing to prevent me reading out what is upon the card, and nothing to prevent you hearing me do so.”
    He held up the card, squinted at it long and hard, and uttered a single and most startling word.
    “Livestock,” he said.
    “I beg your pardon?” said the Mole.
    “I shall endeavour to read out this word again, sir, and I trust you will endeavour to hear it this time.”
    He held up the card once more, peered at it, and uttered that astonishing word again, quite clearly, and for all to hear.
    “Livestock,” said he.
    “And Mr Rat is to collect it?”
    “Or them, sir; you never can tell with livestock.”
    “Are you permitted to read anything else on the card which may give us a clue about this matter?” continued the Mole, his curiosity undeniable.
    “The only other item that may have relevance, sir —and beyond this I know nothing myself, for incoming mail and other items is a different department, of course — concerns the source of said item. That often gives a clue. For example,