The Reason I Jump Read Free

Now I can even write on my computer. Problem is, many children with autism don’t have the means to express themselves, and often even their own parents don’t have a clue what they might be thinking. So my big hope is that I can help a bit by explaining, in my own way, what’s going on in the minds of people with autism. I also hope that, by reading this book, you might become a better friend of someone with autism.
    You can’t judge a person by their looks. But once you know the other person’s inner self, both of you can be that much closer. From your point of view, the world of autism must look like a deeply mysterious place. So please, spare a little time to listen to what I have to say.
    And have a nice trip through our world.
    Naoki Higashida
Japan, 2006



Q1 H OW ARE YOU WRITING THESE SENTENCES ?
    The Alphabet Grid is a method of non-vocal communication. You might think that speech is the only way to get your points and intentions across, but there is another way to say what you want without using the vocal nervous system. At first I never dreamt I could make it work, but now I’m well able to express my true self using only a computer and an alphabet grid.
    This was an incredible feeling! Not being able to talk means not being able to share what you’re feeling and thinking. It’s like being a doll spending your whole life in isolation, without dreams and without hopes. Sure, it took a long time before I could finally start communicating via written text on my own, but on that first day when my mum supported my writing hand in hers, I began to acquire a new way of interacting with others.
    Then, to allow more independent communication, Mum invented the alphabet grid. The alphabet grid makes it possible to form my words by simply pointing to their letters, instead of having to write them out one by one. This also lets me anchor my words, words that would otherwise flutter off as soon as I tried to speak them.
    Often, while I was learning this method, I’d feel utterly beaten. But finally, I arrived at the point where I could indicate the letters by myself. What kept me hammering away at it was the thought that to live my life as a human being, nothing is more important than being able to express myself. So for me, the alphabet grid isn’t just about putting together sentences: it’s about getting across to other people what I want and need them to understand.

Q2 W HY DO PEOPLE WITH AUTISM TALK SO LOUDLY AND WEIRDLY ?
    People often tell me that when I’m talking to myself my voice is really loud, even though I still can’t say what I need to, and even though my voice at other times is way too soft. This is one of those things I can’t control. It really gets me down. Why can’t I fix it?
    When I’m talking in a weird voice, I’m not doing it on purpose. Sure, there are some times when I find the sound of my own voice comforting, when I’ll use familiar words or easy-to-say phrases. But the voice I can’t control is different. This one blurts out, not because I want it to: it’s more like a reflex.
    A reflex reacting to what? To what I’ve just seen, in some cases, or to some old memories. When my weird voice gets triggered, it’s almost impossible to hold it back – and if I try, it actually hurts, almost as if I’m strangling my own throat.
    I’d be okay with my weird voice on my own, but I’m aware that it bothers other people. How often have the strange sounds coming out of my mouth embarrassed me nearly to death? Honest, I want to be nice and calm and quiet too! But even if we’re ordered to keep our mouths shut or to be quiet we simply don’t know how. Our voices are like our breathing, I feel, just coming out of our mouths, unconsciously.

Q3 W HY DO YOU ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS OVER AND OVER ?
    It’s true; I always ask the same questions. ‘What day is it today?’ or ‘Is it a school day tomorrow?’ Simple matters like these, I ask again and again. I don’t repeat my question