The Willoughbys Read Free

malevolent smile, as she meticulously dropped a few stitches to make a hole for the cat's tail.

3. Contemplating Orphanhood

    "Shouldn't we be orphans?" Barnaby B asked.
    The Willoughby children were seated on the front steps playing a complicated game to which only Tim knew the rules.
    "Why?" asked Barnaby A, moving down a step because the rules said he must if he asked a question, and of course "Why?" was a question.
    "Because," Barnaby B explained, "we are like children in an old-fashioned book. And—"
    "Mostly they are orphans," Jane said. She moved down two steps because she had interrupted, which was against the rules, and now she was the lowest of the four.
    "Worthy and deserving orphans," Barnaby B added.

    "Winsome, too," added Jane.
    The three younger children each moved down one more step just on general principles. Only Tim, who had invented the game and its rules, remained at the top of the short staircase that led to the front door. "I win," he announced. "Let's play one more time."
    They all moved to sit side by side on the middle step.
    "The baby we left at the mansion was an orphan," Jane pointed out, "but she wasn't deserving at all, or worthy or winsome."
    "Don't be such a dodo, Jane," Tim said. "You have to move down a step for that. Ruth was not an orphan."
    With a sigh, Jane moved down. "But—" she began.
    "She had a mother, dodo. She had a hideous mother who abandoned her in a basket. A true orphan has a dead father and then perhaps a mother who dies of cholera in India, like Mary Lennox in The Secret Garden. "
    "Oh, yes!" said Jane, enthusiastically remembering. "Or Pollyanna! Her parents were dead so she got to take a long train ride all by herself! And Anne of Green Gables, remember? She came straight from the orphan asylum!
    "Those are all girls, though," she added. "I wonder if there are boy orphans."

    "Yes. James. The Giant Peach fellow. His parents were eaten by a hippo who escaped from the zoo," Barnaby B pointed out.
    "Down one step, B," Tim commanded.
    "Why?"
    "For not saying hippopotamus. Willoughbys do not use silly nicknames."
    "I think it was a rhino, actually," Barnaby A said, still thinking about James. "Oops. Sorry," he said when Tim glared. "I meant rhinoceros."
    "But your full name is Timothy Anthony Malachy Willoughby." Barnaby B pointed out. "Isn't 'Tim' a silly nickname?"
    Tim simply pointed to a lower step. Barnaby B moved down. His twin joined him.
    "I do like the idea of us being orphans, though," Tim said. "I'll let you come up one step for thinking of it, B. And I'll move up one at the same time."
    They shifted steps.
    "I suppose we must do away with our parents somehow," Tim said. "I'm moving up for having that brilliant thought." He moved to the next-to-top step.
    "I don't like them very much anyway," said Barnaby B. "Mother makes us wear this bilious beige sweater. The sleeves are too long." He held up one arm and showed them. "I definitely don't like her. Father either."

    "Nor do I," added Barnaby A. "Father is neglectful, and Mother is a vile cook."
    "Jane?" Tim gave his sister a questioning look.
    Jane shrugged. "I'm at the very bottom step," she said sadly. "I can't go any lower."
    "We could put you in the coal bin in the basement," Tim pointed out, "and we will, if you say you are fond of our parents."
    Jane thought. "No," she said. "I'm not. Not especially."
    "Good answer," Tim announced. "I move to the top step for getting that good answer out of Jane."
    He moved up. "I win," he said. "Again. You people don't try. "
    "May I speak?" Barnaby A asked from his low step. Tim nodded permission.
    "A sea voyage sometimes produces orphans," Barnaby A pointed out. "There are often pirates. Or icebergs."
    "And sea serpents," his twin added, "even though I don't entirely believe in sea serpents."
    "I believe in giant squids," Jane said with a shudder.

    "Good point," Tim acknowledged. "And piranhas. Are our parents planning a vacation, by any chance? On a ship?"
    "I don't