The Schooldays of Jesus Read Free

institution.’
    â€˜He is not sorry. Bengi. He says he is sorry but he isn’t really sorry.’
    â€˜Why do you think so?’
    â€˜Because he wanted to kill the duck.’
    â€˜I don’t agree, my boy. I don’t believe he knew what he wasdoing, not fully. He was just throwing stones the way boys throw stones. He didn’t in his heart intend to kill anyone. Then afterwards, when he saw what a beautiful creature the bird was, when he saw what a terrible thing he had done, he repented and was sorry.’
    â€˜He wasn’t really sorry. He told me.’
    â€˜If he is not sorry now, he will be sorry soon. His conscience will not let him rest. That is how we human beings are. If we do a bad deed, we get no joy out of it. Our conscience sees to that.’ ‘But he was shining! I saw it! He was shining and throwing stones as hard as he could! He wanted to kill them all!’
    â€˜I don’t know what you mean by shining, but even if he was shining, even if he was throwing stones, that doesn’t prove that in his heart he was trying to kill them. We can’t always foresee the consequences of our actions—particularly when we are young. Don’t forget that he offered to nurse the bird with the broken wing, to shelter him in his bunk. What more could he do? Un-throw the stone he had thrown? You can’t do that. You can’t unmake the past. What is done is done.’
    â€˜He didn’t bury him. He just threw him in the bushes.’
    â€˜I’m sorry about that, but the duck is dead. We can’t bring him back. You and I will go and bury him as soon as the day’s work is over.’
    â€˜I wanted to kiss him but Bengi wouldn’t let me. He said he was dirty. But I kissed him anyway. I went into the bushes and kissed him.’
    â€˜That’s good, I’m glad to hear it. It will mean a lot to him to know that someone loved him and kissed him after he died. It will also mean a lot to him to know he had a proper burial.’
    â€˜You can bury him. I don’t want to bury him.’
    â€˜Very well, I will do so. And if we come back tomorrow morning and the grave is empty and the whole duck family is swimming in the dam, father and mother and babies, with no one missing, then we will know that kissing works, that kissing can raise one from the dead. But if we don’t see him, if we don’t see the duck family—’
    â€˜I don’t want them to come back. If they come back Bengi will just throw stones at them again. He is not sorry. He is just pretending. I know he is pretending but you won’t believe me. You never believe me.’
    There is no spade or pickaxe to be found, so he borrows a tyre lever from the truck. The boy leads him to where the carcass lies among the bushes. The feathers have already lost their gloss and ants have got to the eyes. With the lever he chops a hole in the flinty soil. It is not deep enough, he cannot pretend this is a decent burial, but he drops the dead bird in nevertheless and covers it. A webbed foot sticks out stiffly. He collects stones and lays them over the grave. ‘There,’ he says to the boy. ‘It’s the best I can do.’
    When they visit the spot the next morning the stones are scattered and the duck is gone. There are feathers everywhere. They search but find nothing save the head with its empty eye sockets and one foot. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says, and tramps off to rejoin the work crew.

CHAPTER 2
    TWO MORE days, and the grape-picking is over; the truck has borne the last binfuls away.
    â€˜Who is going to eat all those grapes?’ demands David.
    â€˜They are not going to be eaten. They are going to be pressed in a winepress and the juice is going to be turned into wine.’
    â€˜I don’t like wine,’ says David. ‘It’s sour.’
    â€˜Wine is an acquired taste. When we are young we don’t like it, then when we are