Changes Read Free

around these days … these days … these days.
    Esi rose, picked up her tubes and bottles to return them to the dressing table. Oko’s voice stopped her.
    â€˜My friends are laughing at me,’ he said.
    Silence.
    â€˜They think I’m not behaving like a man.’
    Esi was trying to pretend she had not heard the declaration.
    â€˜Aren’t you saying anything?’ Oko’s voice was full of pleading.
    â€˜What would you like me to say?’ she spoke at last, trying very hard to keep the irritation out of her voice.
    â€˜You don’t care what my friends think of me?’ he pressed.
    When she spoke again, the irritation was out, strong and breathing. ‘Oko, you know that we have been over this so many times. We all make friends. They either respect us for what we are, or they don’t. And whether we keep them or not depends on each one of us. I cannot take care of what your friends say to you, think of you or do to you.’
    â€˜I need my friends,’ he said.
    â€˜I also need mine,’ she said.
    â€˜Opokuya is a good woman,’ he said.
    Esi yawned, groped for her wrist-watch from the table, and looked at it. Oko snatched the watch from her, and threw it on the bedside table on his side of the bed.
    â€˜What did you do that for?’ Esi demanded.
    For an answer, Oko flung the bedcloth away from him, sat up, pulled her down, and moved on her. Esi started to protest. But he went on doing what he had determined to do all morning. He squeezed her breast repeatedly, thrust his tongue into her mouth, forced her unwilling legs apart, entered her, plunging in and out of her, thrashing to the left, to the right, pounding and just pounding away. Then it was all over. Breathing like a marathon runner at the end of a particularly gruelling race, he got off her, and fell heavily back on his side of the bed. He tried to draw the bedcloth to cover both of them again.
    For some time, neither of them spoke. There was nothing else he wanted to say, and there was nothing she could say, at least, not for a while.
    What does one do with this much rage? This much frustration? This much deliberate provocation so early in the morning, and early in the week?
    She could go back to the bathroom and clean herself with a wet towel, just standing by the handbasin. She could go and run a full bath again and briefly soak her whole self up. Either way, she could be out of the house in another half-an-hour, drop Ogyaanowa at her school and be only a little late for work. Or she could forget about going to work altogether, wait until Oko had got himself up and taken the child to school, and then have a good cry. She preferred the latter option, but dared not take it. Not show up at work at all the whole day? And a Monday too? Impossible. It was bad enough that she was going to be late. A woman in her kind of job must be careful…
    In the meantime, Oko was collecting his thoughts together. He was already feeling like telling Esi that he was sorry. But he was also convinced he mustn’t. He got out of bed, taking the entire sleeping cloth with him. Esi’s anger rose to an exploding pitch. Not just because Oko taking the cloth left her completely naked, or because she was feeling uncomfortably wet between her thighs. What really finished her was her eyes catching sight of the cloth trailing behind Oko who looked like some arrogant king, as he opened the door to get to the bathroom before her. She sucked her teeth, or made the noise which is normally described, inadequately, in English as a sucking of the teeth. It was thin, but loud, and very long. In a contest with any of the fishwives about ten kilometres down the road from the Hotel Twentieth Century, she would have won.
    One full hour later, she was easing her car into the parking lot of the Department of Urban Statistics. The car came to a standstill. She turned off the engine, removed the keys from the ignition, dumped them