The Human Body Read Free

looks down at his mug of beer. He takes too big a swig, begins to cough. Jammed. He’s a guy who’s jammed.
    â€œEven Mitrano manages to shoot his wad every now and then,” Cederna says.
    â€œHe pays.”
    â€œYou could do it too.”
    Ietri shakes his head. He doesn’t like the idea of paying a woman.
    â€œSo, let’s go over it,” Cederna imitates Captain Masiero’s voice. “It’s not all that difficult, Corporal. Follow me closely. You meet a girl you like, you weigh the size of her tits and ass—I personally, for example, like them both big, but there are some perverts who prefer their women skinny as a toothpick—then you go up to her, spout some bullshit, and finally ask her politely if she’d like to go someplace private with you.”
    â€œIf she’d like to go someplace private with me?”
    â€œWell, maybe not those words exactly. It depends on the situation.”
    â€œLook, I know how it’s done. It’s just that I haven’t found the right one.”
    Cederna bangs his fist on the table. The forks clink in the empty plates where they’ve eaten French fries, attracting attention from the other tables. “That’s the point! There is no right one. They’re
all
right. Because they
all
have a—” He specifies the part by forming a diamond with his fingers. “Anyway, once you start, you’ll see how easy it is.”
    Cederna’s tone annoys him a little. He doesn’t want to be pitied, but his friend’s words are also reassuring. He wavers between irritation and gratitude. He’d like to ask him how old he was when he started, but he’s afraid to hear the answer: Cederna is too cool, and also too good looking, with that high forehead and a smile full of white teeth and mischief.
    â€œYou’re as tall as a giant and you let women scare you. It’s nuts.”
    â€œDon’t shout!”
    â€œIf you ask me, it’s your mother’s fault.”
    â€œWhat does my mother have to do with it?” Ietri balls up the napkin in his fist. An unnoticed packet of mayonnaise explodes in his hand.
    Cederna pipes up in falsetto: “
Mommy, Mommy, what do all these naughty girls want from me?
”
    â€œStop it—they can all hear you.” He doesn’t dare ask his friend for his napkin. He wipes his hand on the edge of the chair. His finger brushes something stuck underneath.
    Cederna crosses his arms, satisfied, while Ietri grows more and more gloomy. He makes circles on the table with the damp bottom of the glass.
    â€œDon’t put on that face now.”
    â€œWhat face?”
    â€œYou’ll see. You’ll find some twit who will spread her legs for you. Sooner or later.”
    â€œI don’t much care.”
    â€œWe’re going on a mission soon. They say there’s no better place. The Americans are wild . . .”
    Â â€¢Â â€¢Â â€¢Â 
    T he guys are given a weekend’s leave before the reassignment and almost all of them spend it with their respective girlfriends. The girls have come up with some outlandish ideas, like a picnic by the lake or a marathon of romantic movies, when all the soldiers want to do is tank up on sex for the upcoming months of abstinence.
    Ietri’s mother takes the night train from Torremaggiore to Belluno. Together they run some errands in the center, then go to the barracks, where he sleeps in a hot, messy dormitory with seven other men. She doesn’t fail to comment on it: “All the fault of the vocation you’ve chosen. With everything you could have done, intelligent as you are.”
    On edge, the corporal is compelled to get away. He invents an excuse and retreats to a corner of the square to smoke. When he comes back, he finds his mother holding the photograph of his induction oath tight to her chest.
    â€œLook, I’m not dead yet,” he says.
    The woman’s eyes