The Ex Factor: A Novel Read Free

And yes, it was my idea that we play pretend. But you seemed to love her so much and you swore to me that it didn't bother you when she started calling you daddy. In fact you said you liked the sound of it. So I trusted you, because you promised to be the first daddy I knew that wouldn't leave… and I believed you… and me believing you somehow meant you were perfect. Which is why when the doctor said I had high blood pressure I still took a chance and became pregnant with your child. Because you wanted a son named Jeremiah, after your grandfather. You were so proud when you thought we were having a boy. You had it all planned out, hisfirst haircut, his first football game, your first father-and-son talk. It was a perfect plan until I found out you were the dog.” Celeste sucked the butt of her cigarette and pointed to her chest. “But what I'm trying to figure out is when you changed. I'm not sure.” She ran her hand across her chin. “But I think it may have been when the little boy you wanted turned out to be twin girls. But then again, maybe it was when we moved to Jersey… and you wanted to stay in Brooklyn…Damn I can't remember …” Celeste took a drag and paced from one end of the bedroom to the next. “But what I do remember is putting up with the smell of your stankin'-ass feet. And I remember how you would burp and never say excuse me. Oh, and I remember how you would take a shit and leave the door cracked. And I remember forcing myself to listen to that goddamn reggae music and that fuckin' DJ Dahved Levy and his nerve-wrecking ‘Rocking you—rocking you—rocking you…’ I wanted so bad to say,
Shut…the… fuck up
, but I didn't …I listened.
    “My mother always said that a woman had to be her man's whore, confidante, and a li'l bit of his mother all rolled into one. But didn't I cook, Sharief ? Didn't I wash your clothes? I never denied you pussy, I just didn't want to be twisted around like a contortionist… and I didn't want yo' dick in my ass, but that was my choice. But I did everything else. I thought moving away from Brooklyn would bring us closer together… ha! Wasn't that a joke?” Celeste mashed the cigarette butt in the ashtray and nervously lit up another one. Taking a pull, she sobbed, “All I'm saying is for you to give me back my shit. And I don't mean the material things, you can keep that. Just give me back what I like to do before I met you. Give me back my independence. Give me back my moves and my grooves. Please un-ass the Anita Baker song I like to sing, my wide smile, the switch in my voluptuous hips, and my nonsaggy tits. It's quite simple, just give me back my shit. Please, take my soul off the abortion table. I'll proudly goback to being a statistic: a black, struggling single mother with a triflin' baby daddy.”
    “Mommy! Mommmmyyyyy!” Celeste's ranting was interrupted by the older twin, Kai, yelling her name.
Goddamn
, she thought,
I can't get my misery on for five minutes.
She wiped her eyes and mashed her cigarette in the ashtray. “What is it, Kai?”
    “I sleep with you?”
    “It's
can
I sleep with you—”
    “Why come? You scared, Mommy?” Kai asked, misunderstanding her mother's statement.
    Celeste wanted to say yes she was scared but she knew four-year-old Kai would never understand. “Kai, it's not
why come
, it's
how come
, and no I'm not scared—and no you can't sleep with me.”
    “Peeeesssse.”
    “I said no.” Celeste sucked her teeth. “Now go back to sleep!”
    Kai started screaming and stormed back into her room. “Don't make me beat your ass up in here, now shut up!” Celeste really wanted to wring Kai's neck, but instead she took a quick shower, rubbed her body down with Victoria's Secret Body Butter, and threw on a lace camisole and matching bottom. She looked at herself in the mirror and pinched her full cheeks. She hated that her face was covered in freckles, mainly because she felt they killed the sparkle in her hazel