either. But Julie told me to.
So I did.
Then Julie wiped tears from her eyes and emptied the rest of the vase right there into the Pacific Ocean. And Billie cried, too. But I didnât. Not yet.
Because it didnât seem right. How could we be here without her?
The waves went up and down, up and down, and carried Mom out to sea. And instead of wondering about Mom, I wondered what the fish were thinking. Was there a spotted wobbegong shark down there? Did he notice anything different about the specks of dust floating down to the ocean floor? Did he know those specks were my mom?
I didnât like to think about that.
Now, sitting here at the gas station, it was almost three months since we had put Mom in the ocean. I kept track of it in my notebook. And after that day everything changed. Julie found Dadâs old address in Momâs papers. I never knew Mom had an old addressâlike a treasure mapâthat told us where to find him. When Iâd asked where he was before, Mom had always said he was traveling or she didnât know where to find him. But Julie said the person who lived at that old address had Dadâs phone number.
So a few weeks after Momâs funeral, on the day Julie volunteered at the free walk-in clinic, she called him.
She said Dad was sad to hear about Mom. And that he would come and get us, even though we hadnât seen him since I was six years old. She didnât say what Dad had said about Billie or me. She just said that he was coming and that he couldnât wait.
Really?
Probably that was just Julie being enthusiastic. But still, it made me wonder about everything Mom had ever told me about Dad, especially if she had the old-address-treasure-map and never told us. Mostly, it made me wonder what it would be like to have a real flesh-and-bone kind of dad, like I had always wished for when I sometimes looked at the three pictures I had of him.
Maybe he was like Suzanne Gomezâs firefighter dad. He seemed really nice, even though she was bratty. He came to our class once to talk about fire safety. She said he coached her soccer team, and he made the best chocolate chip pancakes, and he took her to McDonaldâs for no special reason at all. Mom never took us to McDonaldâs. Having a dad around was probably pretty awesome.
Julie had said heâd take us for sure for the summer and probably, if everything went well, then he would have us for always. Didnât he already know he wanted us? Almost all of me knew I wanted him. Isnât that what kids are supposed to do? Be with their dads for always?
But now, looking at the empty road, that was our answer, wasnât it? He was gone. And we were here.
Billie sighed. âIâm bored.â
âI know,â I said. âTell me a joke.â
She shook her head. âI want to go home.â
I knew she meant San Diego. Billie usually never talked about home, but after what had happened this morning, of course she wanted to go home.
Before Mom died we had only ever lived in San Diego. And Billie and me had never been anywhere. But Dad had been everywhere because he was a photographer. Heâd been to Africa and China and Brazil and the Amazon and I think Puerto Rico, and probably lots of places I didnât even know. So I watched Hunter and Hunted every day on NatGeo because Mom said Dad took pictures for National Geographic magazine. And what if he ever came to visit us? We would need something to talk about, right?
So now I knew a lot about animals; I mean, I knew a lot .
Animals are important, like, essential to the human life cycle and the environment; at least thatâs what my sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Mortensen, told me. She said the world would be nothing without the animal kingdom. So that really made sense to me about Dad and why he was gone. Because why would he leave us unless he was doing something really important?
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Survival Strategy #4:
WATCH OUT FOR PREDATORS
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