Selby Spacedog Read Free

the water like an out-of-control submarine. In a second he was dragged up onto the riverbank.
    ‘Gosh, that was a very short shortcut,’ Prunella said as she poured the water out of her backpack.’ Come on, Selby, we’re nearly there.’

    Five minutes later Selby and Prunella pranced proudly into camp. Mrs Trifle stared at them in disbelief.
    ‘Prunella, you’re the first one back!’ she cried. ‘You started off last and you finished first! Here you go,’ Mrs Trifle added as she handed the girl the Bush-Bashers Weekend All-Roundertrophy. ‘You win the grand prize. What a great map-reader you must be.’
    ‘I — I’m really not,’ Prunella said, blushing till her ears turned bright red. ‘But I’m an okay swimmer — and I guess I’m lucky.’
    ‘Are you kidding? You’re a
great
swimmer,’ Selby thought. ‘And, luckily for me, your swimming is much better than my map-reading!’

BOOKS, BOMBS AND BOOK WEEK
    While Dr and Mrs Trifle were talking to their old friend, Gary Gaggs, the corniest comedian in Australia, Selby was hiding in the study quietly listening to his favourite rock group on the radio.
    ‘That Gary is sooooooo funny,’ Selby thought, ‘but I have to be sooooooo careful not to laugh when I’m around him. One little snicker and everyone would know that I’m not an ordinary non-talking dog.’
    Suddenly there was a newsflash on the radio.
    ‘We interrupt this program to say that there’s an emergency at Bogusville Primary School. The librarian has barricaded herself in the library and is threatening to blow it up. A Special School Crisis Coordinator is due to arrive soon. We now return you to “The Screaming Mimis’ Greatest Hits”.’
    ‘That must be Camilla Bonzer, the school librarian!’ Selby thought. ‘I wonder what happened? This is terrible! She’s really nice. I wonder if Mrs Trifle knows about it.’
    Selby turned off the radio and went into the lounge room where Gary Gaggs was trying out some of his newest corny old jokes on the Trifles.
    ‘Did you hear about the race between the rabbit and the echidna?’ Gary asked.
    ‘No, I don’t think so,’ Dr Trifle said.
    ‘Well, the rabbit was the first across the finish line but the echidna won on points,’ Gary laughed, adding a ‘Woo! Woo! Woo!’ as he often did at the end of a joke.
    ‘The echidna won on
points!
That’s really funny!’ Selby thought as he fought back a giggle.
    ‘The other day I was cutting the grass with my lawn-mooer -’ Gary started.
    ‘Don’t you mean your
lawn-mower?’
Mrs Trifle asked.
    ‘No, I mean my lawn-mooer — my pet cow,’ Gary said. ‘Woo! Woo! Woo! But seriously folks, that evening the light in the lounge room burnt out. I was delighted!’
    ‘De-lighted!’ Selby thought. ‘The light went out! That’s so funny!’
    ‘By the way,’ Gary said, ‘have you rung my Gagg Bag telephone number yet?’
    ‘Is this a joke?’ Dr Trifle asked.
    ‘No, I’m serious,’ Gary said. ‘You ring the number and you can hear a recording of all my latest jokes.’
    ‘What a good idea,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘That way people who can’t see your show can still hear your jokes.’
    ‘That’s right,’ Gary said. ‘And there’s nothing sick bird about it.’
    ‘Sick bird?’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘What are you talking about?’
    ‘Well an
ill eagle
is a sick bird. But there’s nothing
illegal
about my Gagg Bag!’ thecomedian said, suddenly strutting around the room and pumping his elbows up and down like a chicken. ‘Woo! Woo! Woo! Got you that time.’
    ‘His jokes are absolutely terrible,’ Selby thought as he struggled not to smile. ‘But they still make me laugh. I just can’t help myself.’
    ‘I’ve got a million of them,’ Gary said. ‘You could ring my Gagg Bag number on your mobile phone when you’re having a bath,’ Gary added. ‘But if you did you’d be
ringing
wet. Woo! Woo! Woo!’
    ‘I’m not sure I get that one,’ Dr Trifle said.
    ‘I’d tell you the