Running Away From Love Read Free

in less than sixty seconds. But I knew that for sanity’s sake I needed to accept the fact that this is the end. Maybe we really weren’t meant to be. I’ve been battling within myself about this relationship with Trey for a long time now. I’m tired of not being happy. I miss feeling like the carefree and silly Jasmine I used to be. It got so bad I began to pray and ask God for guidance when it came to my relationship with Trey. I guess this was God showing me Trey wasn’t the man for me. It’s hard letting go when in my mind and heart I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But this love has taken so much out of me. Standing here right now I am completely drained with nothing else left to possibly give. I had no energy to fight with him. Hell I didn’t even know why I kept fighting for someone who didn’t do the same for me. Here I stand at a dead end with no other choice, but to turn around and start over. As I stared into his eyes I didn’t even recognize the person I saw. The more I looked at him the sicker I began to feel. It was so easy to see how in love with him I was. I practically wore my heart on my sleeve for this man, but the only person who couldn’t seem to see that was Trey. It crossed my mind to plead with him in and attempt to save our so called relationship. Every inch of me yearned for his love. I wanted to hear he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
    But before I opened my mouth I had an outta body experience. It was like my soul stepped outside of my body. I was able to finally get a good look at myself. As I looked into my eyes I felt like I was looking into the eyes of stranger. It’s a scary feeling to look at yourself, and not even recognize who you see. When I looked into my own eyes there was no sign of life within me. I didn’t see a fire and passion for life a young woman is supposed to have. I couldn’t believe I let it get to the point where I let this relationship drain the life right out of me. Trey really did have this crazy effect on me. It’s like I never thought logical when it came to him. He always forced raw emotions to come pouring out of every inch of me. Anything he asked I would do no questions asked. I wanted to please him. I loved to see him happy and smiling. His smile was so beautiful to me. I wanted to see him happy even if at times it was at a sacrifice to me, but I thought that was what love was. I didn’t understand that love shouldn’t always hurt when it was genuine on both sides. I never realized my love was not being reciprocated how I was giving it out. It was like I put on this façade that I was this perfect girl, and nothing really bothered me. On the outside I seemed to be so strong, but on the inside I was a disaster. As I looked back at myself and the situation now I can clearly see what I had become. My friends and I used to make fun of the girls who made themselves into oblivious fools over a man. And in this moment the oblivious fool was me. All I could do was cry at what I had become.
                  I desperately searched his eyes for any sign of emotion but I found none. I couldn’t wrap my mind around how he couldn’t love me anymore. I couldn’t grasp the idea that we could possibly fall out of love with one another. I collapsed onto his couch burying my head into my hands, and my tears flowed like a river. His silence was all the answer I needed.
    He sat down next to me in an attempt to console me saying, “I love you Jasmine you know I do. But you and I both know we haven‘t been on the same page for a very long time now. I think it would be for the best if we let each other go. We need to give ourselves a chance to figure out what we both really want out of our lives. Right now I‘m trying to build myself a life here, and I don’t see you fitting into that plan.”
    I couldn’t control the emotions that began to pour out of me. “Oh my God! I really can’t believe your saying this shit to me right now! Just