Punk'd and Skunked Read Free

a…like a ponytail.
    â€œShe’s gotta be kidding,” I told myself. A machine that makes it rain? That’s totally insane.
    DRIP. DRIP.

    I felt a few raindrops on my shoulder.

    A few more raindrops on top of my head.
    â€œShe did it!” I cried. “She can make it rain!”

    â€œOwwww!” Something hit me hard.
    Cold water poured down my hair and my face.

    I looked up and saw April-May leaning out a high window. She was dropping water balloons down onto me.

    She had the most awesome smile on her face!
    My shoes squished as I slumped away. I was drenched. And I still had no idea for an invention.
    Shaking off water, I made my way back to Rotten House. I stepped into the front hall and saw Mrs. Heinie, our dorm mother. She was leaning over a table,using a DustBuster. The DustBuster roared as she swept it back and forth.
    Mrs. Heinie stopped for a second—tilted back her head—and sneezed.
    And it gave me an idea. An AMAZING idea for an invention!
    â€œThank you, Mrs. Heinie!” I shouted happily. “Thank you! Thank you!”
    She wiped the snot off her nose with the back of one hand. “You’re welcome,” she said.

Chapter 7
A SOLID PLATINUM WINNER
    The morning of the contest, Belzer carried my invention to the auditorium. “Careful with that,” I said, walking beside him. “It’s worth a FORTUNE.”
    We stepped into the auditorium. “I feel kinda nervous,” Belzer said. “ URRRRRRP . Oh, no. I just burped up some of my breakfast.”
    â€œHow many times do I have to tell you? Peel your hard-boiled eggs before you eat them!” I said.
    I grabbed the invention away from him. I used his T-shirt to wipe the barf off.
    The auditorium was packed with Rotten Schoolkids. I held the invention up high as I walked down the aisle. “Don’t cheer now!” I shouted. “Hold your applause till after I win!”
    The three judges were already onstage—Headmaster Upchuck, Mrs. Heinie, and Mr. Skruloose, the assistant headmaster. They sat at a long table in front of the curtain.
    Headmaster Upchuck is pink and bald and very short. He was sitting on two phone books, but his head still didn’t come above the table.
    Mrs. Heinie was dressed in the official school colors—puke green, vomit purple, and you-know-what yellow. She had a sweet smile on her face as she squinted out at the audience through her thick glasses.

    Mr. Skruloose is a big, balloon-chested, stiff-as-a-broom, tough-guy dude. He thinks he’s in the army or something. He calls every kid soldier and makes us march to class—even the first graders.
    I saw that spoiled rich kid Sherman Oaks jump onstage. Sherman lives in Nyce House, the dorm we all hate. Sherman is so spoiled and rich, he pays someone to floss his teeth for him. No joke.
    I saw what Sherman was doing onstage. He was slipping each judge a hundred-dollar bill. That made me a little tense.
    â€œDon’t worry about Sherman,” I toldmyself. “ No way this machine can lose!”
    I flashed the judges a thumbs-up and gave them my big Bernie B. grin. And I carried my invention backstage.
    The guys from Nyce House and the girls from the girls’ dorm were standing tensely beside their inventions. They were waiting for the curtain to go up and the contest to begin.
    I held my machine up to them. “You can tell a real winner when you see it!” I said. “No one will blame you if you quit now!”
    â€œWhere did you find that piece of junk?” Sherman Oaks sneered. “At the trash dump?”
    April-May sneered, too. “Bernie, did you make that out of LEGO blocks when you were five?”
    Everyone laughed.
    The curtain rolled up. We were standing in front of the whole school. “Welcome, Rotten students,” Headmaster Upchuck said. “As you know, all three dorms are competing today in the Make-a-Great-Invention Contest. Kids from the winning