Lost Voice of the Grand Final Read Free

things called testimonials on their VOICE COACH website. Praise from former clients.
    I can’t see Carrot the Parrot there. Maybe he hasn’t visited them? But he doesn’t usually praise his footballers either.
    VOICE COACH Testimonials include: ‘You have helped me find my own voice’, ‘Thanks, your coaching helps’ and ‘I can’t stop talking now.’
    So I call on my Z-com. A beautiful voice answers. There are smiles and colours and warmth in that voice. What an advertisement!
    I put on my BEST voice.
    â€˜Can you have a Coach for a Coach? If the Footy Coach has lost his Voice, do you offer help?’
    â€˜That’s an unusual request.’
    Carrot the Parrot just wants to be able to YELL again at the footballers.’
    â€˜Oh, my last parrot client wanted to sing opera.’
    â€˜Carrot is a football coach, not a singer.’
    â€˜Sorry, I don’t think we can help Carrot. But maybe we can give YOU a free lesson?’
    â€˜Do you think I need it?’
    â€˜MMM.’
    I’m getting desperate. As a last resort, maybe I could act as Carrot the Parrot, and be his Voice. Even if I look nothing like him.
    I check for Chooks Anonymous messages online. Nothing!
    Could I find a look alike? A speak-alike? Someone to act as Coach in his place. Or with his voice?
    Ben MUST have some Carrot look- alikes on his agency books. I call him.
    â€˜Ben, do you have anyone who could act as Carrot at the Grand Final? A look-alike? He doesn’t have to say anything. All coaching will be pre-recorded.’
    â€˜Yes, I do have one,’ says Ben with a smile in his voice.
    â€˜Who?’
    â€˜You.’
    â€˜Forget it.’

Chapter 7
The Grand Final
    I call at the henhouse on my way home, but I’m too late. They already know. ‘Heard you found the voice of Carrot the Parrot,’ says Clara the Clairvoyant. ‘I knew you would.’
    Well I’ve found the Coach’s voice. Recorded in the TV studio and on Talkback radio. But unfortunately it’s not in his throat, working now.
    â€˜So you’re the hard-boiled detective?’ says Rooster loudly. He makes the same joke every time we meet. It isn’t funny I just wish my Z-com would ring so Rooster’d think I’m busy. But it doesn’t.
    Clues, the French chick smiles.
    â€˜If you can’t fix something, change the way you look at the problem.’
    â€˜Carrot was here and he told Rooster a practice wedding joke. So he still had it then,’ says Clues. ’Would you like some help with this case?’
    I shake my beak. ’Not yet, thanks.’ Unless it’s a French mystery, where you have to speak French, I think I’m better at the job.
    Clues, the French chick is persistent. ‘Some birds don’t talk at all. Parrots can be trained to say ‘Hi’ or bark like a dog. Others are multi-lingual in French, Spanish and Chinese, Some go for walks like a dog, with their owner holding the leash. Others can sing opera.’
    â€˜Great, but Carrot just wants to get one voice back. His own.’
    Rooster interrupts. ‘Did you hear the news?’
    Clara says, ‘I know. The Creepy Crawlies made it to the Grand Final. The Birds were so glad that the Felines got knocked out in the semi final. The Birds wanted to play footy, not get eaten.’

    The ROAR of the crowd was recorded on the Big Screen as Carrot led them onto the field for their victory parade.
    Carrot’s Voice boomed, from the recycled TV program tape
    I had edited all his other coaching hints. Plus his TV commentary.
    He mimed as if he were speaking.
    Then, up on the Big Screen, the Creepy Crawlies ran out, in time to their team’s song.
    Later that afternoon the all-female Creepy Crawlies drew the Grand Final. Coach was speech-less. Especially when he discovered next day that the Bride followed that team! There’s a re-match next weekend. But Beak is on his