Listed: Volume IV Read Free

before. So it
would have been hard to swallow that he’d suddenly fallen in love out of the
blue. And it didn't seem like…But as long as you have an understanding, I’m
sure it’s fine. I’m glad he’s helping you do all the things on your list.”
    Laura’s
eyes were open and sincere, and Emily could tell she was genuinely concerned
and trying to help. But, as she processed what the other woman had said, it
felt like Emily’s heart had been ripped from her chest and stomped into pulp on
the ground.
    Evidently,
Laura had been the one to dump Paul last year, and he’d just been talking to Laura
for a long time. Maybe she’d picked up some sort of continued interest.
    Not
that Paul would do anything. Emily was absolutely positive about his commitment
and faithfulness to her.
    But
she hated—she absolutely hated—the idea that Paul might be yearning for someone
else, that he’d rather be with someone other than her, even for these few
months.
    She
knew he was attracted to her, and she knew he cared about her.
    But
love was out of the question for them, since they didn’t have a future. He
could fall in love with someone else, though. Maybe he already had. Emily knew
now how deeply emotions ran in Paul. If he loved someone, he would love her all
the way, no holds barred.
    He
was committed to Emily for these few months, but he could be biding his time to
pursue a future with someone else. The future he really wanted.
    And
the thought crushed her. It just crushed her.
    “Yeah,”
Emily agreed, her voice weak but with at least a semblance of normality. “He’s
been great. Will you excuse me? I need to find the restroom.”
    Laura
said, “Sure,” so Emily was able to escape.
    She
didn’t go to the bathroom. She slipped out of the hot, confining house and went
out to the small yard, toward the toolshed. The evening was cool, and she
breathed deeply, trying to purge herself of her silly, immature worries and
resentments.
    She
couldn’t be selfish. She just couldn’t. Even if he’d wanted to, Paul could
never have a future with her. Their relationship had always been temporary, and
so—even if she were the kind of woman he might fall in love with—he
would never let himself do so.
    She
would never want him to love her. It wouldn’t be fair. It would leave him
wounded when she died, and she couldn’t bear the thought of that.
    But
it still hurt. It still hurt to think that Paul would want to be with someone
other than her. She’d thought they were happy together for the moment.
    Her
eyes were filled with tears she couldn’t quite suppress, and her cheeks burned
almost painfully with emotion. Her shoulders shook a few times as she stared at
the Masons' toolshed.
    She’d
always been tougher than this. She’d never been so sensitive.
    Dying
was really disrupting her emotional stability.
    “Emily?”
    She
recognized the voice, coming from behind her, and it made her chest hurt even
more.
    “Are
you all right?” Paul asked, approaching her quickly.
    She
fought through the emotion in an attempt to compose her face. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
Her voice didn’t come close to sounding convincing.
    Paul
reached her and grabbed her upper arms in both of his hands, turning her to
face him. “Emily, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?”
    She
hadn’t really been crying, but she was now. The concern in his voice and the
urgency in his eyes broke her control, and she buried her face in his shirt and
let herself cry for just a minute, releasing the coiled tension and the
bewildered confusion of so many unanswerable questions.
    Paul’s
arms wrapped around her immediately, tightly. He smelled so familiar—clean,
masculine, faintly expensive. Like Paul. She breathed him in as she cried.
    He
let her shake against him for a minute, and his arms never loosened. Finally,
he murmured, “Baby, please tell me what’s wrong.”
    He’d
called her “baby” last night in bed. It had felt so intimate, so possessive.