Listed: Volume IV Read Free Page A

It
sounded that way now too, although with an entirely different resonance.
    Sniffing
and trying to compose herself, she pulled her face out of his shirt. There was
a damp spot on the fabric now from where she’d been crying. “I’m fine. It’s
really not a big deal. I was just overly emotional or something, and I
overreacted.”
    “Overreacted
to what?” Paul asked, an edge to his voice she rarely heard. “Did someone do
something to you?”
    “No,”
she assured him, “Everyone has been really nice. It’s just…” She trailed off, self-conscious
about admitting what had so upset her. She was still way too hot, even in the
cool air, and now she was also feeling weak and kind of dizzy from the overload
of emotion.
    “It’s
just what?”
    Emily
sighed resignedly and gave up, since Paul wasn't likely to let this go. “I was
just talking to Laura, and it brought up some of my old issues. You know, I
always saw her as the girl all the guys wanted, the girl I could never be.”
    Paul’s
eyes narrowed, and she felt his body stiffen slightly. “So you were feeling
insecure?”
    “Yeah.
Everyone was into her. You were into her too, right?” She felt another hot
flash and dropped her eyes.
    Paul’s
body stiffened even more. “You were feeling insecure about me ?”
    She
couldn’t meet his gaze. “It wasn’t that I thought you would do anything. I know
you wouldn’t. It was just…it was a lot like at that restaurant in New York.
Only worse, because it was with Laura. I told you it wasn’t anything serious.
It just got me going, for some reason.”
    Paul
tilted her chin up so she would have to look at him. “Emily, you can’t
seriously think I’m interested in Laura?”
    She
sniffed. “I know you wouldn’t do anything.”
    “I
wouldn’t want to do anything.” Paul sounded indignant, almost angry. “How
could you even think such a thing, especially after last night?”
    Emily
felt like squirming. “Well, I know under normal circumstances you never would
be with me, so why shouldn’t I think you might prefer to be with someone else?”
    “Emily!”
he choked.
    She
was starting to feel a little guilty at her assumptions, since Paul seemed so
absolutely outraged by the idea. It was also very comforting, that he was so
offended at the thought that he might be yearning for someone else while he was
married to her.
    Feeling
like she needed to explain herself a little more, she said, “I know we—our
marriage—we’re temporary. It’s always been that way. So I know you’ll want to
and need to move on with your life after I…after I’m gone. I know I have no
right to be bothered by it, but it does bother me to think that you’d rather be
with someone else when you’re with me.” She rubbed her face. “It’s such a
strange situation to be in, knowing I’m going to die. So it messes up my normal
emotions. I’m not usually this weepy. At least, I don’t think I am. I’m sorry
if I wasn’t fair to you.”
    “Emily,
there’s no one else I’d rather be with.”
    The
ache in her heart suddenly burst into flutters. “Really?” she breathed, gazing
up at him.
    “That's
the truth.” His eyes were intense, almost hungry, and she had no way of
understanding what the expression meant.
    “Oh.
Good.” She swallowed hard. “Me either. I mean, there’s no one else I’d rather
be with than you.”
    Paul
pulled her into a hug so tight he almost cracked her ribs. “Good,” he replied,
the one word muffled by her hair.
    When
they pulled away, Emily felt relieved, happy, and kind of embarrassed by her
overreaction. In an attempt to move on, she asked, “So has the evening been too
bad for you?”
    “No.
It’s been fine.”
    She
peered up at his face. “Are you sure? Were the Masons’ nice enough to you?”
    “Yes.
They were fine.”
    She
wasn’t sure if he was speaking the truth, since he looked a little guarded at
the question. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it, and it probably