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cookbook?
That was actually kind of cool if only I could remember it. But wait, back to
the important stuff.
    “We’ve been together for
a year and a half? Together together?
How did that happen? No offence but, you’re young. Too young. You’re just out
of school.”
    “I finished college two
and a half years ago. I’m a graphic artist at Webster and James, the
advertising firm. We started going out last April, after we spent time setting
up your website and getting it off the ground. You came to me for some help
with the layout. Do you remember that at all?”
    I shook my head. Didn’t
ring a bell. Nope. I couldn’t really see myself doing something on the
internet. I’m a chef, a damn good one. That just didn’t seem like me. Going out
with a younger guy didn’t seem like me either. Well, not Cheryl’s brother, at
least. That would be too bizarre. Yucky even.
    He sighed but didn’t say
anything. We just sat there, staring at each other and not talking. I didn’t
know what to say, what to ask. I could tell that I was going to go to pieces
soon. Nothing was adding up. I didn’t recognize that life as mine.
    There was a tap on the
door and Cheryl breezed in smiling. “I fed Lucy, she gobbled up everything, I
also fed Fred and Ethel since I wasn’t sure when Carter was going to go back
home. Are you feeling okay?”
    “Cheryl.” I was relieved
to have some familiarity. “What did you do to your hair?” It was in shoulder
length waves. Cheryl had a sleek bob that was at her chin. Hair doesn’t grow
overnight.
    She peered at me
strangely. “It’s been like this forever. We were just talking about that the
other day, remember? We were going through those magazines to find a new
style.”
    I was shaking my head
when Carter interjected. “She has some kind of amnesia. She thinks it’s 2010.
She doesn’t remember her website or last night or me.” Carter looked defeated
and said that last sentence in a low tone I could barely hear.
    “Amnesia? Oh my god! What
do you last remember?” Cheryl’s eyes had widened outrageously. “You don’t
remember your site? Oh my god, that’s your life! You don’t remember Carter? You live with him. How many fingers am I
holding up?” Cheryl thrust three fingers at my face.
    “Cheryl, I’m not blind, I
just can’t remember some stuff right now.” I scrunched back on the bed and
Cheryl withdrew her hand.
    “This is really freaky,
Juss. How can you not remember Carter? You spend practically every free moment
with him.” That made me squirm in my bed. It didn’t seem right to be talking
about this with Cheryl. I felt embarrassed to be connected with her younger
brother. I mutely shook my head again.
    “Carter, can I have a
minute alone with your sister?” He nodded and left the room.
    “Cheryl, I’m losing it
right now. I’m not dating your brother, there has to be some mistake. I can’t
process the fact that I am missing two years of my life. What is going on?
Carter said I don’t work at the restaurant anymore. Why would I quit? Help me!
I don’t know what to do.” All my words were running together as I poured my
heart out to Cheryl. Cheryl with longer hair. Oh god, oh god, I needed a Xanax.
I could feel my panic attack coming on in earnest now. There was going to be no
stopping it. My chest was pounding and I was gasping for air.
    “Oh shit. Hold on, Juss.”
She pressed a button on the railing of my bed. “Could someone please come in
here? I think Justine is having an anxiety attack.”
    “Someone will be right
in.” The disembodied voice came from a tiny box next to the button. I noticed
this through the haze of my terror. It felt like my heart was beating out of my
chest. I’m having a heart attack. Thank
goodness I was in a hospital.
    The door burst open and a
nurse wearing flowered scrubs came into my room. She walked up to my bed and
checked something beside me. It was some kind of monitor connected to my arm
and finger and I hadn’t