even noticed it before.
“Take a deep breath and
try to calm down. The doctor will be with you in just a moment.” She messed
with something and wrote something down on my chart.
“I really need a Xanax. I
have some in my purse.”
“I’m sorry, Justine, you
can’t have any medications until I know what’s going on with your brain.” The
doctor from earlier walked in while answering my plea. “You’re just having some
anxiety right now, no one could blame you. You’ve had a huge shock. Just try to
relax and we’ll get you fixed up in no time.”
Easier said than done,
but I tried to get a hold on my breathing. It was the only thing I could manage
right now. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. It didn’t help my
heart rate, but at least I felt a tiny bit more in control. A minute later I felt
a cool wetness across my face and I opened my eyes. Carter had come back in and
was holding the towel. He then stuck it behind my neck and I felt a little
better almost at once.
“Thank you.” I reached up
to touch the towel and met Carter’s fingers. They were cold. “Thank you,” I
repeated while looking up at him. It felt strange but also somehow familiar. At
this point I would take familiarity wherever I could get it.
Chapter Two
After I got over my panic
attack, I didn’t have a moment to myself to think. Before I could even get my
bearings, an orderly came in with another wheelchair to take me for testing. I
don’t know why they had to wheel me there, I could walk perfectly fine. I
walked from the bed to the chair with no mishap, anyway.
I was hoping that I would
have some kind of breakthrough while I was in the CT scanning machine. I
didn’t. Nothing was clear to me. I know I have a Chihuahua named Lucy. I got her as soon as I
graduated from culinary school. She was a rescue, so I didn’t know how old she
was, but earlier Cheryl said she stopped by my house and fed her, so at least I
knew she’s doing okay. Cheryl said she fed someone else, but I was so freaked
out by that time that I didn’t question her and now she wasn’t here. Maybe I
got another dog or possibly a cat. I always felt guilty leaving Lucy alone for
such long shifts at the restaurant. But evidently I don’t work at Heavenly
Vegetables anymore, so I didn’t have a clue.
I was relieved when I got
back to the room and found it empty. I wasn’t ready to deal with what I had
learned today. Dr. Turner said I was suffering from retrograde amnesia. He
wasn’t sure why I couldn’t remember the last two years. I wondered the same
thing. Did something happen that was so awful my mind was blocking it out? If
so, it’s got to be really bad. It probably had to do with Carter. That’s what
made the most sense to me.
Now that everything was
quiet, I could think about Carter. Okay, he looks good, that’s obvious. His eyes
are the same dark green as Cheryl’s (I was so jealous), plus he’s tall and
built like a swimmer. His black hair is a little long, but he dressed a lot
better than I do, at least from what I can remember about him. That was the big
problem. I don’t really know. I mean, I only know him as Cheryl’s brother. Of
course we’ve hung out lots of times, but Cheryl was always there. I couldn’t
think of a single time that Carter and I had spent any time alone.
Cheryl’s been my best
friend since freshman year of college when we lived across the hall from each
other in the same dorm. We gravitated towards each other since we each had
roommates we didn’t get along with. Well, Cheryl didn’t get along with her
roommate. My roommate was a psycho and I tried to avoid spending time in my
room while she was awake. Cheryl and I moved into one of her parents’ rental
houses our junior year, and the rest was history. We lived together with her
boyfriend Paulo until a few years ago when I bought my fixer-upper on the East Side .
Hmm. I guess it’s been
like five years now. I didn’t want
Grace Slick, Andrea Cagan