Innuendos (It Had 2 B U Book 1) Read Free

how much pussy I get. The reality is, by immersing myself in the puss, I forget how badly I’m attracted to my best friend and roommate. I know she doesn’t care about my revolving door of hoes, but unfortunately, I feel bad about it every damn time it happens—and it happens a lot—like every other night.
    There are downfalls in my plan to distract my cock. First of all, there are the monthly STD checks I have to give myself. I’m on a first name basis with my doctor. His name is Al, and frankly, I think he’s a little too amused by all the stories that I tell him while we visit.
    The second downfall is that my condom stash has to be constantly replenished. I’m pretty sure I was the spokesman for Trojan there for a while. I got so fed up with buying condoms all the time that I’ve actually made it a habit to visit places where they give them out for free. Now my stash is ginormous and a little intimidating when you think about it. That’s a lot of sex to live up to. The good thing is that I know Breezy will always be taken care of. As much as I hate the idea of her dating anyone, at least I know she stays safe. The last thing I need is for her to get knocked up by some asshole and have him steal her away from me, for good.
    I’m like her good luck charm. The minute any guy meets me, they show their true colors and run away with their tails between their legs. I kinda feel bad for Breezy. She wants to make her relationships work, and here I am fucking them up at any chance I get.
    The third problem of whoring myself out, is the crazies. Of course I have plenty of girls who are perfectly fine with one-night-stands, but then you get that one girl who goes crazy. Suddenly she’s picking out wedding patterns, poking holes in condoms, and taking a bat to your vehicle. Yup, I had all that in one shiny blonde package, after a one-night-stand went terribly wrong.
    I need to slow down. I never thought I would get to the point where sex wouldn’t be enjoyable anymore, but I’m there. I’m pretty sure if I don’t stop now, my favorite appendage may shrivel up and fall off one of these days. Then what use would I be to anyone?
    As much as I would like to put a stop to my constant perusal of the under regions of the female body, tonight is Breezy’s date night with Numbers Man, and that means I need to distract myself—again. I grab my phone and dial my wingman’s number, ready for a night of heavy drinking. Tony picks up on the second ring.
    “You ready for this shit, Princess?” He asks in an overly enthusiastic voice. Tony is a jackass, and has this sick obsession with calling me pet names because he thinks it’s funny. I’ve gotten so used to it, that I don’t let it bother me anymore. Tony has been my wingman for the last four years. We met at a party, and both had a mutual admiration for how the other was good with the ladies. I’m not kidding when I say that Tony is the master when it comes to women. If Breezy dubs me the Pussy Slinger, then I dub Tony the Mack Daddy of Pussy. His record with women puts mine to shame. He’s the one man that I keep Breezy far away from. The moment Tony laid eyes on my sexy roommate, he was all over her and made it his personal mission to try to sleep with her. Luckily, I’m a lot stronger than he is. All it took was one body slam to the wall, a few idle threats, and the fact I made it perfectly clear she was off limits. He got the message.
    “Yup, you ready?”
    “What’s the plan for tonight? Redhead? Ebony Goddess? Or are you feeling the fatty tonight?”
    “I kinda have a taste for Chinese,” I say smiling.
    “Ah yes, the kinky chink. Good choice, my friend.”
    “Could you be anymore racist?” I ask him, grabbing my wallet from off my desk.
    “Probably, but what fun would I be if I didn’t offend someone every now and then? Meet you at the bar in five?”
    “Sure, see you there.”
    Just as he promised, Tony is leaning up against our favorite bar five minutes