Going Loco Read Free Page A

completestranger on the phone because he offered her big fat pearls but didn’t mean it. However, Stefan was still smiling because (as she had soon discovered) he always smiled, whatever his mood. He had told her that he was known in academic circles as the Genial Geneticist from Gothenburg.
    ‘So what did your masters think of
Verity’s Rosette?
’ he asked. It was Monday evening, and they were loading the dishwasher to the accompaniment of ‘Voulez Vous’.
    ‘
A Rosette for Verity
? They’ll let me know. We discussed the idea that she might break her neck in the next book and be all brave about it, but I said, “No, let’s do that to Camilla.” Six Months in Traction for Camilla – what do you think?’
    He smiled uncertainly. ‘You are yoking?’
    ‘A bit, yes.’
    ‘You remember we visit Viv and Yago tomorrow?’
    ‘We do?’ she said. ‘Damn. I mean, great.’
    ‘Maggie will be there, too. Maggie is a good egg, for sure. I want to tell her she was de luxe in the play by Harold Pinter. Mind you, no one could ever accuse Pinter of gilding the lily, I think.’
    ‘Shall we watch telly tonight?
The Invasion of the Body Snatchers
is on.’
    Although she was really desperate to get on with some work, she felt guilty about Stefan, and regularly made pretences of this sort. Hey, let’s just curl up on the sofa and watch TV like normal people! She fooled nobody, but felt better for the attempt. The trouble was, whenever she felt under pressure, she had the awful sensation that Stefan was turning into a species of accusatory sock. Besides which, it was nice watching television with him, and cuddling. She always enjoyed those interludes with Stefan when they didn’t feel the need to speak.
    ‘Don’t you want to work?’
    ‘Well, I—’
    He smiled.
    ‘You have been Patsy Sullivan today, all day?’ (Patsy Sullivan was her horsy pseudonym.) ‘Then you must work yourself tonight.’
    ‘Are you sure? It’s just, you know, it’s February, and the book is due in October. And I feel this terrible pressure of
time,
Stefan. And I’ve got fifty-three
Verity
fan letters in big handwriting to answer. I have to pretend to the poor saps that I live on a farm with dogs and stuff. And I’ve got to go and see saddles tomorrow in Barnet. Do you know the line of Keats – “When I have fears that I may cease to be, before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain”?’
    Stefan thought about it. ‘No, I don’t know that. But it sounds like you.’ He turned to go, then stopped. ‘So I shall look forward to tomorrow night. Now just tell me about Yago and Viv. Why is it that whenever I perorate in their company, they react as though I have dropped a fart?’
    This was difficult to answer, but she managed it.
    ‘They’re scared of you, Stefan. It’s scary, genetics. There you sit, knowing all about the Great Code of Life, and all Viv and Jago know about is Street of Shame gossip and the
Superwoman Cook Book
. It’s a powerful thing, knowing science in such company.’
    ‘In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king?’
    ‘Exactly.’
    ‘I have got bigger fish to fry?’
    ‘That’s it.’
    Belinda was glad she’d reassured him. She decided not to mention the fart. ‘Even I’m scared of you, a bit,’ she said, squeezing his arm and looking into his lovely eyes. They were like chips of ice, she thought.
    ‘Oh, Belinda—’ he objected.
    ‘No, it’s true. I sometimes think you could unravel my DNA just by looking at me. And then, of course, you could knitme up again, as someone else with different sleeves and a V neck.’
    Belinda envied the way Stefan’s work fitted so neatly into the time he spent at college. She imagined him now with enormous knitting needles, muttering, ‘Knit one, purl one, knit one, purl one,’ in a loud, clacky room full of brainy blokes in lab coats all doing the same, trying to finish a complicated bit (turning a heel, perhaps) before the bell rang at five thirty.
    People