a bun with one sweep of her hands. Tess
cleared her throat and turned back to Kyle, her tone softer.
“Look, I can show you
starter homes in Brooklyn or Queens, but you’re not going to be this close to
the city, not to mention have an investment that’s most likely going to double
in less than two years’ time. Sure, it’s 2003 and 9/11 is still in the air, but
a few years from now, I predict this real estate is going to go through the
roof again. Besides, brownstones like this rarely become available. The only
reason this one is on the market is because the woman who lived here had to
relocate to London for business.”
“I can’t imagine not
living in Manhattan,” Dale said. “I don’t know if I can do the Brooklyn thing.”
“Honey, Dale, it’s just a
few minutes outside of Manhattan. We’ve been through this already. For what
we’ll pay to buy an apartment in the city, we can buy a home elsewhere.”
Dale shook her head. “I
just don’t know if I want to live outside of the city, in a suburb. Suburbs
depress me.”
“Brooklyn Heights is just
like Manhattan,” he said.
“Says you,” she said. “To
me, Brooklyn Heights is like Brooklyn Heights. I feel far away from everything.”
“You work in downtown
Manhattan,” Kyle said. “You’re closer to your job living here than you are
living on the Upper East Side.”
“Yes, but I can’t walk to
work from here.”
“Sure you can—you can
walk across the bridge,” Kyle said.
Dale laughed. “Oh, right.
I’ll stroll across the bridge each morning. Sounds great. I’ll be sure to wear
my painter overalls so that my clothes don’t get full of traffic soot.”
“Perhaps we should meet
up again when you’re ready to talk seriously about a house,” Tess said.
“No! I mean, we are ready
to talk seriously now,” said Kyle.
“If you are, then I can’t
imagine having a better place than this to show you that’s close to the city
and this beautiful, not to mention in your price range.”
“I wouldn’t say this is
exactly in our price range,” Kyle said.
“Money,” Tess said, “is a
state of mind.”
“I’ll be sure to tell
that to my bank when I try to withdraw money that I don’t have,” Kyle said.
“How long have you been
living in Manhattan?” Tess said. She was facing Dale.
“Born and raised,” Dale
said. “All 27 years of my life.”
Tess believed that
decisions made before 30 weren’t to be taken seriously and she would have
shared that insight with Dale, only her son had drilled into her that free
advice wasn’t worth much.
“Aside from the location,
all of this space scares me,” Dale said.
Tess glanced at her
watch. Clearly consensus wasn’t one of this couple’s strong points.
“I don’t mean to rush
you, but I need to be on my way,” Tess said. “Why don’t you two discuss what
you’re looking for and get back to me?”
“We’re looking for a
place just like this,” Kyle said.
“You just said that you
wanted a starter house, and the space and location scares your lovely fiancé,”
Tess said.
Keep them real. That was
her way to avoid wasting time.
“I love this place,” Kyle
said.
Dale closed her eyes,
exhaled loud, and shook her head so that her hair scattered all about her
shoulders. “I need a cookie,” she said.
“A cookie?” Tess said.
“She’s got this cookie
thing,” Kyle said. “It’s how she deals.”
“Right,” Tess said. She
stifled a laugh and smiled. A girl who didn’t want a gorgeous home and dealt
with conflict by eating cookies. No, Tess didn’t have time for these two.
“Chances are that I’ll
get some bids on this place before the week is up,” Tess said.
“Dale, what do you say?
We’ve looked at over a dozen places already, baby. This place is incredible.”
This was the first place
she had showed them, so obviously the other realtors had gotten fed up with
them. Perhaps what was needed to help them focus their energy was to change
Dancing in My Nuddy Pants
Paula Goodlett, edited by Paula Goodlett