Forgive Me Read Free

cocktail of epic sexy bad boyness and it did nothing for me. Even if he was single Noah Beckett didn't do it for me, only one man did and even in a potato sack Shamus James would always be the sexiest man I know.

“It's impossible to know how you feel or what you think Cass. I have inked your story across your body, covered every scar with beauty through pain. I know every detail, every secret, slap, kick, punch and fucking cruel word he said to you, but I have no idea how you feel. What I do now is how hard it is to look at yourself in the mirror after a boot to the face. I know what it's like to have that negative voice of your abuser in your head all. The. Time. But I don't know or understand what you feel on a daily basis. Just because we survive something that fucked up, doesn't mean we are healed. Surviving is the hard part beautiful. If Shamus cant see through his fucking ego that you are surviving every minute of every day, desperate for a little peace, then he can fuck off.”

He didn't wait for my reply because he knew I wouldn't have one. When Noah opened himself to you and let you in, it was very much like standing in the sun. The warmth from him, the feeling of being loved and safe and so deeply cared for was a gift that he didn't give to many

Noah Beckett everyone.

    The black sky won the bet. The clouds had rolled in with a vengeance and winter had finally arrived. While the few drops of rain hit my windshield I sat in gridlock on the 405 and looked out over Mercer Island. I was day dreaming about the day I would buy my house on the shore. For now, my apartment suited me just fine.
    I missed Gig Harbor but my business was Seattle based as was UW where Candey had been going when we moved in together. I drove enough as it was between work and taking care of Jerry that the drive from Gig would leave me no money. When I heard the ‘Sex in the City’ tune play from my iPhone, I knew with a smile it was Roni.
    “ Hey Ron what’s up?” My brother Mike was the best brother by far. He managed to turn my best friend from childhood into my sister. Roni and Mike had been married for four years now and I was impatient while I waited to be an aunt for the third time. Roni was due in three more months with their third and final baby.
    “ So how are you today?” Roni asked and I bit back laughter knowing she was probably biting her lip and nervous while calling. Roni hated when people were sad, even more she hated when Mike or I were sad. This whole mess had all of us, including Shame who she was still close with sad. This must be driving her crazy.
    “ I'm okay Ron. I knew this was coming and even if it sucks....” I trailed off not wanting to go into how bad it did suck.
    “ Cassa, Jerry was very close to you and I know Mike and I both will forever be indebted to him for the way he pulled you out of your shell after Cory.”
    “ Out of my shell? I'm still in my shell Ron and I always will be. I just chose to let you guys in my shell from time to time.” Jerry never once made me feel like a victim. He never once told me I was stupid to get married so quick after shame. He never told me that he was sorry for Cory trying to kill me. Jerry was just Jerry. He told me he loved me, he told me I was strong and smart and he told me I was good. Those are the memories I am choosing to remember.
    “ I know Cass, I'm just saying that his passing was still kind of sudden...we are never truly prepared for-”
    “ He killed himself Roni, and I knew he would.” I said finishing the rest of the story I already knew. He had said it a million times over the last year once he knew his liver was shot. Organ donation was not a possibility to an addicted patient and Jerry would have flipped the bird to the idea anyway.
    It didn't matter if I agreed with his decision or not, it was done and I had no choice but to accept it.
    My phone started beeping and a glance at the screen showed Carrie smiling wide with a bundle of baby girl