Forgive Me Read Free Page B

private Carrie so back off a little. You and Chad were communicating about what was fucking things up in your relationship. Shame straight up left Cass with no word, nothing.”
    It was like taking a bullet every-time I heard his name. I was sick of feeling so broken and even if it was fake and make believe I needed to pretend to be happy, even if it was just for one night. I needed to feel good and pretty and even if it meant I was shallow...I needed to feel wanted. “Lets go to the bar!” I yelled jumping from my bed almost maniacly. Within seconds they were right on board with me.
    I had been so happy that night. I had my girls, a pretty dress...beers and tears.
    I also met Corey and my life changed forever.

    “ Cass? You okay honey?” This was Carrie who was fully aware I was in dream mode. She knew what it was like to get trapped in a memory.
    “ Yeah I was just thinking.” I didn't say what had my attention and I followed what had originally derailed my thoughts. It was always Shamus in some sort. I had taken it upon myself, after Shamus disappeared, to take care of Jerry. Shamus would call every Thursday night and I made sure I was scarce. Same as the few times Shamus would visit. Jerry stayed mum about my being around and as far as I knew, Shamus never talked about missing me. Jerry had always respected my wishes just like everyone else had and so Shamus remained in the dark. Now I would face him and pay my respects.
    “ He doesn’t know Cassa….about you taking care of his Dad.” Carrie said silently bringing me back to the nightmare. Harvey had left and I still sat there shell shocked.
    “ Did Mikey talk to him or the guys yet?” I asked Roni who had shown up just as Harvey left. Was I so far off in my own head that reality and the here and now were slipping away? I needed control.
    My big brother Mike and Shamus had been best friends since childhood, all the members of Thick as Thieves went back years but it was Mikey, Chad the lead singer and rhythm guitarist, Cal the lead guitarist and Shamus the drummer that had been childhood friends. They brought Noah the bassist into the fold about five minutes after meeting him. They were just destined to be friends, much like me, Carrie, Candey and Roni. Mike and Shames friendship, though still strong, is now strained because of me and the secrets I demand Mike keep. Mike was never a member of the band, only a fan and his dream was always to marry and impregnate my bestie.
    It has been said a time or two that brothers are gross and I will testify to that every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
    “ Yeah he talked to him early this morning.” Roni sighed and I squeezed my eyes shut wanting, desperately to block out the pain. “Shame went straight to Carrie and Chads last night once they were in. He's at Jerry's now with Mike and Chad.”
    “ Noah and Cal are coming after he wraps up a few things in Gig for the wake and Candey said she was on her way home now.”
    Candey is my roommate and fellow trouble maker since we are the last ones to get married or have babies. I did both in the dark and alone and Candey along with the rest of this silly little group of misfits, ripped me out of it.
    I was terrified at first to live by myself but Mike and Roni’s with all the love and babies wasn’t the place either. Candey and Carrie took me in and now it's just Candey and me and I love living with her cooky ass.
    Where Roni and I were bestie's for life, Candey and Carrie were as well. Candey had an ongoing and sometimes rigid relationship with Noah, cementing the fact to Carrie that brothers were indeed gross. Candey was everything awesome and true, just like her last name. She never spared feelings, spoke her mind and loved fiercely.
    She was in love with Noah and he with her though they fought it daily. I was still in love with Shamus and there were more secrets, hurt and anger between us than any ocean could distance us. I could and would never judge Candey for