were careful to be just quiet enough that Izzyâs mother couldnât hear them.
Joel looked at me and let his tongue loll in an amused expression. He stretched, got up, and trotted up the stairs, doubtless so that he could join in the next round of fun. Deserter. I was left alone to face the enemy.
âGaiaâs Blessing contains peppermint oil,â Izzyâs mother said unnecessarily because that was the one making my eyes water, âlavender, rosemary, and eucalyptus, all natural oils, blended together.â She capped it. âWe have remedies for a variety of ailments. Myhusband was an athlete in college, and for twenty years, heâs battled with jock itch.â
I blinked.
I tried to keep my face expressionless, despite the laughter from upstairs, as Izzyâs mother continued, apparently unaware of the meaning of TMI. âWe tried everything to control it.â She dug around and pulled out a few bottles before coming up with the one she wanted. âHere it is. A little dab of this every night for three days, and his jock itch was gone. It works for ringworm, psoriasis, and acne, too.â
I looked at the bottle as if that would keep inappropriate images from lingering. It helped that I had never met Izzyâs father, but now I hoped I never did.
The bottle label read: âHealing Touch.â I wondered if Izzyâs motherâs husband knew that his jock itch was something that his wife brought up in her sales pitch with near strangers. Maybe he wouldnât care.
She opened that bottle, too. It wasnât as bad as the first one.
âVitamin E,â she said. âTea tree oil.â
âLavender,â I said, and her smile wattage went up.
I bet she made a mint on her multilevel marketing. She was cute, perky, and very sincere.
She pulled out another bottle. âMost of our essential oils are just one oilâlavender, jasmine, lemon, orange. But I think that the combination oils are more useful. You can combine them on your own, of course, but our blends are carefully measured for the best effect. I use this one first thing every morning. It just makes you feel better; the smell releases endorphins and wipes the blues right away.â
âGood Vibrations,â I commented neutrally. I hadnât beenpulled back to the sixties or anything; that was what the label on the bottle read.
She nodded. âThey donât advertise this, mind you, but my manager says that she thinks it does more than just elevate your mood. She told me she believes it actually makes your life go a little smoother. Helps good things to happen.â She smiled again, though I couldnât remember her not smiling. âShe was wearing it when she won a thousand dollars on a lottery ticket.â
She set the bottle down and leaned forward earnestly. âIâve heardâbut it hasnât been confirmedâthat the woman who started Intrasityââshe pronounced it âIn-TRAY-sityâââTracy LaBella, is a witch. A white witch, of course, who is using her powers for good.
Our
good.â She giggled, which should have been odd in a woman of her age but instead was charming.
Her comment, though, disturbed me and made me pick up the bottle of Good Vibrations. I opened it and took a careful smell: rose, lavender, lemon, and mint. I didnât sense any magic, and mostly if magic is around, I can tell.
LaBella wasnât one of the witch family names, as far as I knew, but if âTracy the Beautifulâ was her real name, Iâd have been surprised.
âNow, this little gemââIzzyâs mother pulled out yet another bottleââthis is one of my favorites, guaranteed to improve your love life or your money back. Does your husband ever have trouble keeping up?â She held up a finger, then curled it limply downward as her eyebrows arched up.
The silence from upstairs was suddenly deafening.
âUhm. No,â I