Expecting Jeeves Read Free

mustn’t risk lending all this money without any security at all to two people who, after all, are almost strangers.”
    â€œOh, don’t say that!”
    â€œI do say it. If I hadn’t thought that you would be quite businesslike about this, I would never have dared to come to you. If you will just give me a receipt, as a matter of form——”
    â€œOh, well.”
    I wrote out the receipt and handed it over, feeling more or less of an ass.
    â€œHere you are,” I said.
    The girl took the piece of paper, shoved it in her bag, grabbed the money and slipped it to brother Sidney, and then, before I knew what was happening, she had darted at me, kissed me, and legged it from the room.
    I don’t know when I’ve been so rattled. The whole thing was so dashed sudden and unexpected. Through a sort of mist I could see that Jeeves had appeared from the background and was helping the brother on with his coat; and then the brother came up to me and grasped my hand.
    â€œI cannot thank you sufficiently, Mr. Wooster!”
    â€œOh, right-ho!”
    â€œYou have saved my good name. Good name in man or woman, dear my lord,’” he said, massaging the fin with some fervour, “is the immediate jewel of their souls. Who steals my purse steals trash. ’Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands. But he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him and makes me poor indeed. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Good night, Mr. Wooster.”
    â€œGood night, old thing,” I said.
    â€œYour brandy-and-soda, sir,” said Jeeves, as the door shut.
    I blinked at him.
    â€œOh, there you are!”
    â€œYes, sir.”
    â€œRather a sad affair, Jeeves.”
    â€œYes, sir.”
    â€œLucky I happened to have all that money handy.”
    â€œWell—er—yes, sir.”
    â€œYou speak as though you didn’t think much of it.”
    â€œIt is not my place to criticize your actions, sir, but I will venture to say that I think you behaved a little rashly.”
    â€œWhat, lending that money?”
    â€œYes, sir. These fashionable French watering–places are notoriously infested by dishonest characters.”
    This was a bit too thick.
    â€œ Now, look here, Jeeves,” I said, “I can stand a lot, but when it comes to your casting asp-whatever-the-word-is on the sweetest girl in the world and a bird in Holy Orders——”
    â€œPerhaps I am over-suspicious, sir. But I have seen a great deal of these resorts. When I was in the employment of Lord Frederick Ranelagh, shortly before I entered your service, his lordship was very neatly swindled by a criminal known, I believe, by the sobriquet of Soapy Sid, who scraped acquaintance with us in Monte Carlo with the assistance of a female accomplice. I have never forgotten the circumstance.”
    â€œI don’t want to butt in on your reminiscences, Jeeves,” I said, coldly, “but you’re talking through your hat. How can there have been anything fishy about this business? They’ve left me the pearls, haven’t they? Very well, then, think before you speak. You had better be tooling down to the desk now and having these things shoved in the hotel safe.” I picked up the case and opened it. “Oh, Great Scot!”
    The bally thing was empty!
    â€œOh, my Lord!” I said, staring, “don’t tell me there’s been dirty work at the crossroads after all!”
    â€œPrecisely, sir. It was in exactly the same manner that Lord Frederick was swindled on the occasion to which I have alluded. While his female accomplice was gratefully embracing his lordship, Soapy Sid substituted a duplicate case for the one containing the pearls, and went off with the jewels, the money, and the receipt. On the strength of the receipt he subsequently demanded from his lordship the return of the pearls, and his lordship, not being