Defiled Forever Read Free

fucker has a hard on for me. I know you are loving the fact he promised to bring me down and everyone associated with me. Mother Fucker.”
     
    “Matthew Lawson?”
     
    He doesn’t respond.
     
    “Those men were here to see my Father, not me. They are his cronies. Besides, how did you see? Are you spying on who comes and goes in my home now?” I ask and I am creeped out and outraged at the same time. Why did I start explaining myself to him?
     
    “He wasn’t there to see your old man when you were out back alone with each other looking at the stars.” He spits.
     
    “Nikolai, I don’t know what you think happened or what you think you saw. But you had no business lurking around my home. You have to stop this. I don’t want any part of this game you are trying to play with me.” And I mean it.
     
    He’s quiet for a minute and right when I plan to hang up he sighs heavily and says “You get your wish. Anatoly is not happy with this situation. I told him I didn’t want to give you up. So, I am going overseas for a while. I just wanted to let you know and tell you goodbye. Get on with your life and I will do the same Princess. If I stay around, I won’t be able to let go. So this is a good thing.”
     
    “How long is a while?” I can barely whisper.
     
    “ Ktoznayet ? Who knows? Three weeks, a month, maybe longer.” He explains with no emotion whatsoever.
     
    “Will I see you before you go?”
     
    “No. Goodbye Lauren. Take care of yourself little one.”
     
    And once again it’s over. I have to do the whole painful grieving thing from the start again. I hate Nikolai.

 
     
    Eight
     
    The next month goes by in a blur. I have worked as many hours as they let me at the gallery and find I love the art as well as the patrons. My life is full and busy and finally normal. I have been dating Matthew very rarely and very casually. He is handsome and decent and a catch as everyone keeps telling me. We have a lot in common and I enjoy his company but there is absolutely no spark, no excitement, and no real no attraction on my part. He is very driven and ambitious so it keeps him from pressing for anything deeper. This is what makes him ideal.
     
    His career plans take him to Sacramento as well as Washington DC so he is rarely here in LA.
     
    Amanda and I have gone out a few times a week. Usually a lunch or coffee get together and a movie or a club on one of the weekend nights. We now go to real grown up clubs. Not college hangouts. Clubs where everyone dresses well and is very career driven. Grownups. Amanda is still easy breezy and all about a good time and I am happy to discover I am not a total Ho. I was afraid I was going to be after Niko and the things he taught me to crave, but I find I have no interest at all.
     
    Now that I have said his name, I will admit I miss him and think of him every single day. I wonder where he is. Is he back? Who is he making love to? Nope. Not making love. Having sex.
     
    Speaking of that, therapy is good. I go once a week now and feel better about everything.
     
    Daddy has retired and he golfs daily even though it’s mid-summer and extremely hot every day. He has never seemed happier.
     
    It’s Friday night and I am going on a dinner “date” with Daddy. Amanda has a hot date with a hot guy tonight.
     
    Like I said I feel normal again. I’ve officially moved on. Sort of.
     
    I agreed to meet Daddy at the restaurant on my own after rushing home from work and showering and trying to look my very best for him. When I reach the restaurant I am happy they have valet service for my car. I have that sensation of being watched or followed all of the time now. Not just tonight. I think it may be a little issue left over from my “ordeal” because all of these weeks I’ve felt it morning noon and night and there is never anyone there. Maybe it’s my imagination.
     
    My Father beams when he sees me and rises to help with my chair. I am pleased I took pains with my