Badass Zombie Road Trip Read Free

did indeed exist. “So Barbara dropped by?”
    Dale grinned again as he nodded. “She sure did.”
    “I must have been asleep by then. I didn’t even hear her come in.”
    “I heard her come. Several times.”
    Jonah gripped the wheel harder, his knuckles fading from pink to white as he dreaded the next question and the answers that surely followed. “Okay, what happened?”
    The next twenty miles were spent in lurid description as Dale outlined the acrobatic feats that made up his typical sexual escapade. Jonah was left to wonder where all the extra limbs wound up. Dale never clarified, and Jonah never asked.
    This was the way of things.
    ****

Chapter Two
    Winnemucca, Nevada
     
    “You’re such a nerd,” Dale snorted.
    “Why?” Jonah asked. “Because I pay my bills on time or because I don’t fart in the presence of others?”
    “Like you know how to fart. You’re too much of a tight-ass to let one rip.”
    “Ha ha.”
    “I mean, look at this thing.” Dale tapped on the yellowing pages spread on the table between them. Half-empty plates and half-full cups covered the edges of the thick book, holding down the well-worn pages that tried their best to curl. “What kind of asshole uses a road map these days?”
    Jonah shrugged, embarrassed by Dale’s poor conversational skills. “I like them. They make traveling fun.” Which, while accurate, was not the whole of the truth. Jonah liked maps for the same reason he liked mail. A map was tangible proof of the world beyond his door. With a map, he had evidence of places besides the three blocks around his apartment. With a map, Jonah had a printed reflection of the world. Or, in the case of this particular set of maps, the United States. “And just how did you expect to find Reno without a map?”
    “Google it, like a normal person.”
    Jonah snorted. “That’s funny. You and normal in the same sentence.”
    “At least I didn’t leave a perfectly good GPS at home.”
    “A GPS makes it too easy. I like using a map.” Jonah bristled at Dale’s demeaning look for a moment, then added, “And for your information, it’s not just a map. It’s a road trip book. It has extra stuff about where you are and why. See?”
    Dale’s flat expression revealed just how impressed he was. “Which makes you a nerd.”
    Trying his best to shift the subject away from his obvious nerdiness, Jonah asked, “You sure you wanna go to Vegas when we’re done?”
    “Yup.”
    “Again?”
    “What’s wrong with Vegas?”
    Jonah wrinkled his nose. Three years ago, on one bright spring morning, the pair of them embarked on what became the first of many road trips. They could have gone to so many places over those years. Seen so many things. But, at Dale’s insistence, each and every journey led to the same place. Las Vegas. Jonah had hoped that this jaunt to Reno would encourage Dale to try new things, but no. It was Vegas. Again.
    “Vegas is so boring,” Jonah moaned as he drew lazy circles on the map with his fingertips.
    “No, Reno is boring. God only knows why we have to go there first.”
    “Because that’s where we’re booked to play.”
    “Boring,” Dale whined, mimicking Jonah’s falsetto. “Reno’s for old people.”
    Jonah cut a sideways glance at the man. “Dale, may I remind you that you’re the one who got us the job?”
    “Ugh. No, you may not remind me.”
    “Then why did you get us a job there?”
    Dale shrugged the question off.
    “I think Reno will be fun,” Jonah said. “At least it’s different.”
    Dale shrugged again. “Whatever.”
    “Don’t you want to see someplace new?”
    “I said whatever.”
    Narrowing his eyes, Jonah fancied he spied an opportunity for mockery. “You’re afraid of new things.”
    “No I’m not.” But there was a hesitation in his voice that suggested otherwise.
    Jonah grinned, wondering what that hesitation was all about. “Then prove it. Pick somewhere other than Vegas, and after Reno, we will head