B00BUGFFGW EBOK Read Free

has a way of looking at you, but not at you, just past you or something. average kisser. probably the most adventurous person in bed. he lasted a long time. i had an orgasm. he wanted to do it again in the morning but i had to work. we didn't use condoms. i said 'i hope you don't have 'secret AIDS.' he said 'i hope you don't have 'secret pregnancy.' we laughed and parted ways. i feel good about this
    kyle: kyle was the most attractive guy at a halloween party this year so we had sex in the basement. the basement belonged to a girl whose little sister didn't like it that people have sex at parties sometimes and screamed 'get out of my house!' at us from the top of the stairs. this feels ridiculous to me, i think it's funny now. we didn't use a condom. he was an okay kisser i think. it was just alright. we were both drunk. i was dressed as a piece of pizza. i don't think he had a costume
     
    —age at first time: 18 years, 4 months, 2 weeks, 0 days
    —age at present: 23 years, 2 months, 2 weeks, 2 days
    —total penetrative sex partners: 21
    —total males: 21
    —total females: 2 (2 not mentioned, i'm not sure they count as sex, it was just making out and fingering)
    —total oral sex partners: 20-30
    —oral sex giving to receiving ratio: 3:1 (probably)
    —total official relationships: 4
    —total ambiguous relationships: 9
    —total one night stands: 11
    —total partners i've said 'i love you' to: 3, and maybe 2 .5's
    —total partners who have said 'i love you' to me: 3.5
    —alcohol involved in first sexual encounter: 13
    —marijuana involved in first sexual encounter: 2
    —total STDs: 0
    —total pregnancies: 0
    —butt sex: 0
    —came on my face: 0
    —came on my tits/stomach/back/ass: 2+
    —asked beforehand: 2
    —places i've had sex: all rooms a house can have (not counting the garage), car, on a blanket under a tree, the woods, public bathroom, laundry room, trampoline, started to on the roof of a construction site at night (he was not a construction worker)
    —what i felt after completing the list: satisfied for having completed a task, surprised at how many details i remember, surprised at how passive i've been, angry at myself a little bit, self-pity a little bit, sad about failed relationships, happy remembering some moments, irrationally hopeful, glad i'm not in the past, puzzled at why i've diverted to other people about my personal safety, relieved i don't have AIDS or children

1.26.09
    last night i slept next to 'a good school' by richard yates. i only wore underpants. i fell asleep with a kleenex up my right nostril. when i woke i thought 'i am fucked' and 'this is probably how a lot of lonely computer programmers fall asleep, except maybe replace richard yates with gamer magazines.' my cat started humping my arm. or i don't know if it's humping or what, he just mounts my arm and moves his ass and licks my hand. i feel confused by it
    my friend told me cats have barbed penises and it's actually really painful when they have sex. it hurts both the mancat and the womancat. he bites her neck so she doesn't run away. the barbs on his penis stimulate some part of her uterus or something
    i'm not sure what combination of atoms and energy or whatever made me, but i'm glad i got made into a human instead of a cat
    my macbook is so dirty. it looks like its owner should be the last person on earth, who has been living in a sewer drain for seven years, who is good at physics and is building a time machine
    the other night two coworkers and i went to the peppermill, which is a bar inside an office building. no one who works in the bar knows who works in the offices. old people go to the peppermill to drink and talk about the civil war. it's cheap and quiet and close to work, so we go there a lot. it smells like a cruise ship. they have a plentiful supply of mints. i always take a handful when i leave. everyone is nice there
    i drank four dogfish and a double shot of jack daniels. my female coworker and i got