Abuse, Trauma, and Torture - Their Consequences and Effects Read Free

Narcissism Revisited, seventh revised impression,
1999-2007. Narcissus Publications, Prague and Skopje.]

    Return

The Narcissist's Entitlement of
Routine

    I hate routine. When I
find myself doing the same things over and over again, I get
depressed. I oversleep, over-eat, over-drink and, in general,
engage in addictive, impulsive and compulsive behaviours. This is
my way of re-introducing risk and excitement into what I
(emotionally) perceive to be a barren life.
    The problem is that even
the most exciting and varied existence becomes routine after a
while. Living in the same country or apartment, meeting the same
people, doing essentially the same things (though with changing
content) – all "qualify" as stultifying rote.
    I feel entitled to more.
I feel it is my right – due to my intellectual superiority – to
lead a thrilling, rewarding, kaleidoscopic life. I feel entitled to
force life itself, or, at least, people around me – to yield to my
wishes and needs, supreme among them the need for stimulating
variety.
    This rejection of habit
is part of a larger pattern of aggressive entitlement. I feel that
the very existence of a sublime intellect (such as myself) warrants
concessions and allowances. Standing in line is a waste of time
best spent pursuing knowledge, inventing and creating. I should
avail myself of the best medical treatment proffered by the most
prominent medical authorities – lest the asset that is I be lost to
Mankind. I should not be bothered with proofreading my articles (or
even re-reading them) – these lowly jobs best be assigned to the
less gifted. The devil is in paying precious attention to
details.
    Entitlement is sometimes
justified in a Picasso or an Einstein. But I am neither. My
achievements are grotesquely incommensurate with my overwhelming
sense of entitlement. I am but a mediocre and forgettable scribbler
who, at the age of 39, is a colossal under-achiever, if
anything.
    Of course, the feeling of
supremacy often serves to mask a cancerous complex of inferiority.
Moreover, I infect others with my projected grandiosity and their
feedback constitutes the edifice upon which I construct my
self-esteem. I regulate my sense of self-worth by rigidly insisting
that I am above the madding crowd while deriving my Narcissistic
Supply from this very thus despised source.
    But there is a second
angle to this abhorrence of the predictable. As a narcissist, I
employ a host of Emotional Involvement Prevention Mechanisms
(EIPM). Despising routine and avoiding it is one of these
mechanisms. Their function is to prevent me from getting
emotionally involved and, subsequently, hurt. Their application
results in an "approach-avoidance repetition complex". The
narcissist, fearing and loathing intimacy, stability and security –
yet craving them – approaches and then avoids significant others or
important tasks in a rapid succession of apparently inconsistent
and disconnected behaviours.

    Return

Pathological
Narcissism

A Dysfunction or a
Blessing?

    Comments on recent research by Roy
Baumeister.
    Is pathological narcissism a blessing or a
malediction?
    The answer is: it depends. Healthy narcissism
is a mature, balanced love of oneself coupled with a stable sense
of self-worth and self-esteem. Healthy narcissism implies knowledge
of one's boundaries and a proportionate and realistic appraisal of
one's achievements and traits.
    Pathological narcissism is wrongly described
as too much healthy narcissism (or too much self-esteem). These are
two absolutely unrelated phenomena which, regrettably, came to bear
the same title. Confusing pathological narcissism with self- esteem
betrays a fundamental ignorance of both.
    Pathological narcissism involves an impaired,
dysfunctional, immature (True) Self coupled with a compensatory
fiction (the False Self). The sick narcissist's sense of self-worth
and self-esteem derive entirely from audience feedback. The
narcissist has no self-esteem or self-worth of his own