50 Shades of Kink Read Free

a trip to your local sex toy store and head to the fantasy role play or bondage section. You both can point out toys that interest you, talk about who wants to do what with them. You don’t actually have to buy anything; you can simply use the selection of implements to start the conversation, give you ideas, and point out your preferences. Or you can make a purchase that becomes the spark for your new erotic adventure.
    Watch a movie. Pick an adult film with similar themes to a book you like; O: The Power of Submission directed by Ernest Greene, for example, is a modern-day retelling of Pauline Réage’s book The Story of O (see sidebar for more recommendations). As you watch it together, chime in about what interests you, what turns you off, and what you find intriguing but you’re not sure you’re ready to try. A movie will give you a visual encyclopedia of different activities, power dynamics, and scenarios—use that information to begin to talk about what you want to do.

    Inspiration on Film: Great BDSM Porn Films
    O: The Power of Submission (Adam & Eve)
The Surrender of O (Adam & Eve)
The Truth About O (Adam & Eve)
The Rough Sex series (Vivid)
The Fashionistas (Evil Angel)
The Fetish Fanatic series (Evil Angel)
Nina Hartley’s Guide to Erotic Bondage (Adam & Eve)
Midori’s Expert Guide to Sensual Bondage (Vivid-Ed)
Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex (Vivid-Ed)
Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples (Adam & Eve)
Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples (Adam & Eve)
Crash Pad Series Volume 4: Rope Burn (Pink and White Productions)
The Curse of MacBeth (Madison Bound)
Tail of a Bondage Model (Madison Bound)
50 Shades: A XXX Adaptation (Smash Pictures)
    All of these approaches should eventually lead to a frank conversation, one you come to with an open mind, patience, and some information. If your partner has questions, be prepared with answers. Be ready to counteract myths,
stereotypes, and misinformation (with assistance from the first part of this chapter).
    Sex can be very strongly connected to our egos and our core sense of self; it often makes us feel more vulnerable than anything else we do. It’s difficult, especially if you are in a long-term relationship, to reveal that you have a new desire, especially one that’s different than what you’ve expressed in the past. If you realize that going in to the conversation, you will be better prepared for different reactions from your partner which could range from surprise, confusion, and curiosity to shock, hurt, and even anger—or some combination of these. Don’t get defensive. Be ready to reassure your partner that this new information doesn’t change how you feel about him. Emphasize that these fantasies excite and arouse you, and you want to share that excitement and arousal with him. If you’re the one who’s hearing this new information, be open. Don’t rush to judgment, get defensive, or shut down. Listen to your partner, ask questions, give yourself time to digest the information, and don’t feel like you have to respond immediately. Ideally, talking about your fantasies will spark new adventures in bed and bring you closer together.

What If I Don’t Have a Partner?
    When someone expresses an interest in kink, I always give the same advice: find your local community. You can begin online by joining one of the largest kinky social networking sites, FetLife.com , and from there find other online groups and lists that are tailored to your specific interests, identities, experience level, or
geographic area. Want to know where the kinksters are in your neighborhood? Google BDSM and your town, city, or county, and you’ll likely come up with social events, workshops, support groups, conferences, and, for lucky folks, play parties, dungeons, and clubs. There are hundreds of gatherings of kinksters throughout North America and the world—whether a