50 Shades of Kink Read Free Page B

way through the 2000s. Leather is still used today, especially by gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer folks, to signify kinky interests, identities, and communities.

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    Play is a common term used to describe the practice of BDSM, as in, “I want to play with a bondage expert so I can learn more about it.” It can also be used as an adjective: “My play partner caned me really well at Susan’s play party. I’m glad I set up that play date!”
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    A scene is where two or more people come together to do BDSM. People may also use scene to describe the BDSM community (“Is she in the scene?”). You can do a scene anywhere, but often people do them in a play space or dungeon. These spaces may be private, such as a room in someone’s home, or public, like a large club. Such places often have different stations that feature various types of equipment for BDSM play, such as a St. Andrew’s cross (a large X , usually made of wood, with places to attach wrist and ankle cuffs), a bondage bed, a spanking bench, a sling, a medical exam table, and a cage.
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    Erotic role play (or fantasy role play ) occurs when you and a partner (or partners) create characters and scenarios to act out fantasies with a sexual component.
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    The term fetish has several meanings. When the word first appeared, fetish was a psychological term to denote a particular object that one needed in order to experience sexual pleasure and orgasm. Over time, the word has evolved into a kind of shorthand. Now people use it as a way to describe their favorite kinks, as in a shoe fetish, a foot fetish, a cigar fetish, or an ass fetish. In addition, some
people say, “I belong to the fetish scene,” meaning they like to dress up in latex, leather, and PVC, and attend fetish parties and balls, but they don’t necessarily belong to the local BDSM or leather scene.

Roles
    One of the first things to consider as you talk about what kinds of BDSM activities you might like to try is what role you’ll take in a scene: do you want to be in charge or do you want your partner to be in charge (or both)? A top is the doer who initiates activities and actions and does things to the bottom. Do you love the idea of blindfolding your partner, tying him up, or spanking him? If you like doing things to your partner and want your partner to receive, you will probably enjoy taking on the top role.
    A bottom follows the top’s lead, receives stimulation from the top, and has things done to him or her. If you fantasize about giving control to your partner, being put in bondage, or being whipped, then you should explore the bottom role.
    Top and bottom can also be used as verbs, as in “I topped my girlfriend last night.” A switch is someone who enjoys playing both roles. Whether a switch becomes a top or a bottom can change from one scene to the next; switches may take on a particular role based on the partner they play with or the activity. They can also switch between both roles within one scene.
    A dominant is the partner in charge; dominants run the show and call the shots. Think of the dominant as the authority figure who should be obeyed. A
female dominant is sometimes referred to as a dominatrix . A submissive is someone who enjoys surrendering to their partner, likes to prioritize the dominant’s needs and desires, and gets turned on by being told what to do. Read more about dominant/submissive role play in the next chapter.
    People of all different genders are tops, bottoms, switches, dominants, and submissives. In this book, I will use “he,” “she,” “her,” and “his” not to proscribe certain roles to certain genders or assume a specific kind of dynamic, but rather to mix it up randomly.

Useful Concepts
    Kinky folks have adopted a set of principles that represent some important core values: consent, communication, negotiation, education, safety and risk