50 Shades of Kink Read Free Page A

regional organization’s annual conference, a camping event for pervy people, or a BDSM retreat—and the majority of them have a strong educational component. On any given weekend, you can learn how to safely set someone on fire, be a good Daddy, plan the perfect orgy, or do bondage without rope.

Chapter 2
    BDSM Basics: Terms, Roles, and Principles
    Once you’ve talked about your kinky desires with your partner, there are a few more aspects to discuss including different roles, activities, and limits. In the spirit of direct communication and clarity, I’d first like to define some terms you will read throughout this book.

Terminology
    Kink is an umbrella term for BDSM, kinky sex, dominance and submission, erotic role play, fantasy, and fetish.
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    BDSM is an acronym and an umbrella term that was first used in the late 80s and early 90s in Internet discussion groups and was more widely adopted in the 2000s. BDSM is a combination of several shorter acronyms that reflect the history of our kinky vocabulary and the wide variety of practices that it incorporates:
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    B & D (also B/D ) stands for bondage and discipline. It is an older term that first appeared in personals and magazines in the 1970s and became widely used by kinky folks in the 1980s to describe their interest in kink. It wasn’t necessarily meant to denote only bondage and discipline, but rather a range of activities that
revolved around power exchange. Today B & D is much less frequently used as a term on its own.
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    SM (also S & M , S/M , S/m ) is the common abbreviation for sadism and masochism or sadomasochism. (See below for definitions of these and related words.) These terms were coined by Richard von Krafft-Ebing in 1886 and have appeared frequently since then in psychoanalytic literature to describe sexual pathologies; however, kinky people reclaimed them beginning around the 1970s, and SM was the most popular term for kink activities until BDSM gained widespread use by the 2000s.
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    Sadomasochism is the enjoyment of giving or receiving pain or discomfort.
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    A sadist derives pleasure from inflicting pain, intense sensations, and discomfort on someone else. That pain or discomfort can be physical (like during a spanking), emotional and psychological (as in an interrogation scene), or both.
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    A masochist is someone who enjoys receiving pain or intense sensations, being made uncomfortable, or being “forced” to do something they don’t want to do. Remember that sadists and masochists experience these desires and pleasures in the context of consensual BDSM scenes.
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    D/s (also DS or d/s ) stands for dominance and submission or
dominant/submissive. The terms dominant, submissive, and dominance/submission have been around for a long time; people began using them in the context of kink in the 1980s to describe the power dynamic within a SM scene or relationship, or to communicate their interest in roles like master/slave or daddy/boy. In a D/s relationship today, the power exchange may exist without other elements of BDSM.
    When a D/s power exchange is always or very often present, partners inhabit their roles and reinforce the dynamic through various rituals, protocols, and behaviors all the time; these relationships may be referred to as 24/7 D/s (as in 24 hours a day, 7 days a week), lifestyle D/s , TPE (total power exchange), or APE (absolute power exchange). (Read more about dominants and submissive in the next section on roles.)
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    BDSM can be used as a noun (“I’m interested in BDSM”) or an adjective (“I went to a BDSM event”). Some people use other terms interchangeably with BDSM, including SM, kink, and leather.
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    The use of the term leather in association with BDSM (as in, “I’m part of the local leather community”) originated in post-World War II gay male biker clubs and bars and continued in leather bars and sex clubs from the late 50s all the