Zombie Elementary Read Free

seats. Except Alex, of course, who got thrown down the aisle real fast. He stayed on his feet, and his arms were going crazy and trying to grab people, and his head was bobbing around like one of those bobbleheads you see. Luke yelled something at him, but I couldn’t make out the words. Anyhow, just as Alex came past me, I figured, what the heck, I’m not gonna be just ducking and dodging this clown anymore. I was pretty much pi—okay, I know I can’tsay that. I was ticked off about the day before, about running away and nobody believing me anyhow.
    So I stuck my foot out and he fell over it and took a dive toward the emergency door at the back of the bus.
    Did I mention he was howling “ BRAIIINNNSSS !!!!” as well? I shoulda said that already. And “ NNGAAARRRGGGGHHH !!!!” of course. It was like—what’s the word?—his catchphrase.
    ZOMBIE TIP
    It is useless to attempt to discuss things with a zombie. Their conversation skills are extremely limited, and they simply want to bite you as soon as possible.
    The sixth graders who took up the back seats could be pretty snotty to us younger kids, but they weren’t acting cool now. They were just scared littlekids, and they were crying and calling out for their moms like we heard Alex Fellowes had done yesterday. I guess they had a real good reason to be afraid, though, because Alex (Bates, the zombie, not Fellowes, the wuss) was biting at their ankles.
    Anyhow, I was still ticked, so I squeezed past Alex while he was distracted with standing up and biting at the same time and pulled on the emergency release handle to make the back door swing open. I was maybe gonna push Alex out of the door myself when suddenly Mr. Stine hit the brakes (like he does about five times every trip) and Alex lost his balance. Then Mr. Stine suddenly put his foot on the gas again (like he always does after he brakes). Alex went flying out the back door and landed on the hood of a Toyota Corolla.
    It was okay, though, because he just rolled off into the gutter. Toyotas are reliable cars, my dad says. No damage I could see. Then Alex got up, and he turned around waving his fists at me. I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but I’m pretty sure it was either “ NNGAARRRGGGGHHH !!!!” or maybe “ BRAIINNNSSS !!!!” I have to say, his vocabulary had really gotten a whole lot worse with the zombie thing.
    The bus hauled round a corner and the rear door slammed shut. All the kids looked at me with real big eyes. Nobody said anything. I just muttered, “Chicken Pox? I don’t think so!”
    Nobody said anything to that, either.

LARRY:
And then I got off the bus.
KYLE:
When it reached your street.
LARRY:
Yeah. Me and Honor walked home.
KYLE:
Like you do.

6
    I really needed to find out what was going on. So I called Jermaine.
    As I mentioned, he’s my best friend. He’d been out of school for two days with a nosebleed. Nobody fakes a nosebleed like Jermaine. But it’s always just two days, tops, because otherwise his mom would insist on taking him to the doctor, and Jermaine doesn’t want to risk that. He’s the smartest person I know.
    “Larry! What the heck happened today? All the kids are talking about the bus!”
    I remembered that, even though Jermaine had been out of school, the Torres brothers live two doors away from him, and Luke would have gone right over to tell Jermaine about Alex Bates. So I told Jermaine the whole story.
    It’s the same story I’ve already told, so I’m not gonna say the whole thing over, if that’s okay with you. Anyhow, Jermaine was pretty much floored by the whole thing. Then he said something that shows how smart he really is: “Sounds like Alex got turned into a zombie.”
    “A what?” I replied.
    “A zombie,” he said. “You know, an undead creature with no will of his own except to kill the living and suck out their brains for sustenance.”
    He says stuff like that. Like I told you, he’s real clever.
    “How does that happen?” I