Zombie Elementary Read Free Page B

the hero guy argues with him. Then there are more zombies and a truck that’s outta gas and akid who turns into a zombie and this real pretty girl who eats her boyfriend.
    But you don’t need to know the plot. I was watching it for tips. You know, useful plays in case I had to fight zombies myself.
    Stuff I found out about zombies:
    • It wasn’t just Alex who walked like he’d tied his shoelaces together. They all did.
    • They were real determined. Stubborn. If they couldn’t pull the boards you nailed over the windows down right away, they just kept at it. It’s not like anyone was calling them in for bedtime.
    • They were pretty stupid one-on-one. Which was okay if they came in ones. If they came in bunches, us guys—the not-zombie types—were in a buttload of trouble. (Can I say buttload?)
    My mom came in while we were watching. I’m not supposed to watch scary movies (or pro-wrestling or shows on cable with the parental advisory “Nudity, Language, Adult Situations”) but I guess that, since the movie’s real old and in black and white, she figuredit was
The Addams Family
or
Leave It to Beaver
. “Huh!” she said as the zombies hammered on the door to the house. “I never got why this was supposed to be so funny.” I don’t know what she thought it was
—The Munsters
, maybe? Then she reminded us not to stay up late, even though it was Friday and no school the next day, because we had a Little League game against the Pirates in the morning.
    Alex Bates was on the Pirates’ team.

KYLE:
So, the movie was like a training film?
LARRY:
I guess.
KYLE:
And you play baseball?
LARRY:
I already told you that.
KYLE:
Right. Can you explain to everyone about Little League and stuff? Some people might not know.

8
    I play for the Tigers. We are in the minors, which is ages nine and ten. After next year I’ll be going to the majors, which is eleven and up. But that’s not the point. Sorry.
    The Tigers are sponsored by Cheesehead Ed’s Pizza (Home of Authentic Wisconsin-style Pizza, it says here on the napkin I’m looking at). We go to Ed’s after every game and eat pizza, and the moms and dads drink beer. It’s a pretty good deal, though I gotta say Bart Allen’s getting pretty darn fat and doesn’t run as fast as he did last year when we were the Pixies, sponsored by the Age of Aquarius New Age Spa and Holistic Healing Center.
    Being called the Pixies pretty much sucked, especially as the sponsor, Moonbeam, insisted on us doing Buddhist chanting during warm-ups. But Moonbeammoved to Nepal or New Jersey or somewhere, and Cheesehead Ed let us call ourselves something cool. We chose the Tigers. I know he really wanted to call us the Pepperonis. That would have sucked too.
    Anyhow, we practice Tuesdays and Thursdays in the season, and play on Saturdays. Jermaine plays second base. I’m third baseman.
    My dad said I could have his old Louisville Slugger when I start batting 300. It’s made from hickory. It used to belong to a neighbor’s kid when Dad was growing up. The kid got a trial with the Orioles but blew it and gave up playing, so he gave the bat to my dad. They said Cal Ripken, Jr. touched it during practice once, when he was a rookie. Pretty cool, huh?
    At that point I was batting a 285, so I knew I was gonna have to wait a while. My old bat was okay, but I was getting too tall for it. I’d just had a growth spurt.

LARRY:
Is that enough about the Tigers?
KYLE:
Yeah. People just need to know enough about the team and Little League.
LARRY:
I think most people already know.
KYLE:
I don’t know, because I don’t play.
LARRY:
That’s ’cause you have bad asthma. You need that inhaler all the time.
KYLE:
Gee, thanks for bringing that up.
LARRY:
Sorry, dude.
KYLE:
That’s okay, I’ll edit out that part of the story.

    So, anyhow, we were at the field. The Pirates all live in Cedar Heights, which is on the other side of town. Nick Walker’s mom usually brought a bunch of Pirates in her Plymouth