Why Me? Read Free Page B

NUMBER:
    SEX:
    AGE:
    OCCUPATION:
    COUNTRY:
    STATE:
    MATIRIAL:
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Alan Thompson
    Subject: My Garage Awaits
    Alan,
    I accept your apology and I’m glad we’re back on track. I have started sorting things out this end. Dundee is right on the River Tay so it shouldn’t be a problem reversing in your oil tanker. Once it’s arrived then it will be a case of getting the oil off and over to my house. I have a double garage with a much admired ‘cantilever roof’ so 50,000 barrels of oil should fit no bother at all.
    Can you please give me the name of the ship and also the name of the captain? I will fill in the form shortly, I’m just waiting for the right pencil to make itself known.
    Thanks,
    Bob
    ----------------
    From: Alan Thompson
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: Use Any Pencil
    Dear Mr Bob
    That is fine and we will deliver 50,000 barrels free of charge, you will simply pay the shipment. I will locate the name of the captain and his ship shortly Bob. Use any pencil or pen you have to hand it does not matter or best type it direct on the computer.
    Mr Alan Thompson
    Director NPC
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Alan Thompson
    Subject: Here You Go
    Alan,
    No problem, info below, please send over the names of the ship and the captain.
    Cheers Al,
    Bob
    FULL NAME: Bob Godzilla Servant
    CONTACT ADRESS: Harbour View Road
    PHONE NUMBER: No phone after I accidentally spent over £3,000 calling a phoneline that I believed was about wildlife 6
    SEX: Totally Male
    AGE: 64
    OCCUPATION: Businessman/Man About Town/A Good Guy To Have
    Around The Place
    COUNTRY: UK/Scotland/Dundee/Broughty Ferry
    STATE: Excited
    MATIRIAL: Eh?
    ----------------
    From: Alan Thompson
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: National Oil and Investment
    Bob,
    Thank you for your response. It is not all there but it is enough for now. OK, this is the captain’s name and ship name
    Captain Newman
    Ship name: Edmund
    You want 50,000 barrels of oil. Shipment is therefore $50,000. Payment should be sent immediately through Western Union.
    BANK NAME: ECO BANK LOME TOGO
    ADDRESS:
    A/C NAME.
    A/C NUMBER:
    SWIFT CODE:
    DESTINATION: LOME TOGO WEST AFRICA
    As soon as you transfer the fee, send me the transfer slip for confi rmation and immediate processing. Looking forward to hearing from you,
    Mr Alan Thompson
    Director
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Alan Thompson
    Subject: The Dundee Courier
    Alan,
    Thanks for the account info and it’s good of your friend to let you use his bank account for such a hefty wedge, you must trust that boy like there’s no tomorrow.
    Anyway, exciting news. A little birdie (not the same one I mentioned before) tipped off the Dundee Courier (our local rag) and they’ve done a bit of a splash on our link-up this morning, the article is attached below. Also can I just check what we are talking in terms of crew numbers? I will tell you right now that I will not have the crew staying in my gaff (known around Dundee as ‘Bob’s Palace’ 7 ). It’s not that kind of place. They can either stay at my neighbour Frank’s house or if there’s a few of them then I will sort something else out. But Captain Newman (I like him already!) will have his pick of the bedrooms at Bob’s Palace, that’s a promise. And if I break that promise, Alan, then you can break my arm.
    With a fucking sledgehammer.
    Thanks,
    Bob
    ----------------
    8
    From: Alan Thompson
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: National Oil and Investment
    Dear bob
    am glad to hear the news of DUNDEE In Shock Oil. we are very proud of you and we feel that the people will see you as a hero for sure. the director board of administrations has agree to shipped the oil for you as soon as poseble without any delay. we went to the bank to see if you have make the payment but not yet done. why? Bob kindly go to your BANK and make the payment today for immediate processing.
    You are correct. The Ship will