Why Me? Read Free Page A

lads at your retirement dinner, if I can be half the man you were, then I’ll be happy! PS recognise these little guys?
    All the best,
    Mr Bob Servant
    Director
    National Oil and Investment
    Royal Plaza
    Togo

    ----------------
    From: Alan Thompson
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: National Oil and Investment
    Bob,
    That is my job. You do not have a title as you are only a customer. Please
    fill in the form. What is this picture?
    Mr Alan Thompson
    Director
    National Oil and Investment
    Royal Plaza
    Togo
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Alan Thompson
    Subject: Eh?
    Alan,
    I don’t quite follow what you’re saying about the job title, as the situation seems pretty clear at my end. Anyway, we’ve got more important things to discuss which is – what stories can I tell at your retirement dinner? Are you bringing the missus or can I be a bit risqué? A little birdie told me about the conference in Tenerife where a certain someone let his hair down quite spectacularly? There are whispers about you, a trolley dolly from Togo Airlines, a bath full of champers and a couple of dozen garden gnomes?
    Kind Regards,
    Mr Bob Servant
    Director
    National Oil and Investment
    Royal Plaza
    Togo

    ----------------
    From: Alan Thompson
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: National Oil and Investment
    Bob,
    You are not right in calling yourself this. It is my job, please stop. You are a customer. I am not going to retire why would I retire when I am young and there is so much money to be made? I have not been to Tenerife and don’t know what this picture is about.
    Send the form.
    Mr Alan Thompson
    Director
    National Oil and Investment
    Royal Plaza
    Togo
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Alan Thompson
    Subject: Make Your Mind Up
    Alan,
    Sorry you’ve completely lost me. One minute you’re retiring and the next minute you’re not. One minute you’re boasting to anyone who’ll listen about a night with a trolly dolly and the next you’ve never been to Tenerife? What’s going on? Are you OK? I’m worried about you.
    Kind Regards,
    Mr Bob Servant
    Director
    National Oil and Investment
    Royal Plaza
    Togo

    ----------------
    From: Alan Thompson
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: National Oil and Investment
    Bob,
    I want to get on with the OIL and send it to your country for you to make a lot of money but do you see that you are calling yourself my job? I am the DIRECTOR you are the CUSTOMER. Do you understand? Do you not know business? I am NOT for retiring now. I have NOT been to Tenerife with anybody. STOP sending these pictures.
    Mr Alan Thompson
    Director
    National Oil and Investment
    Royal Plaza
    Togo
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Alan Thompson
    Subject: Take It Easy
    Alan,
    Fine, you’re not retiring and you want to keep the Tenerife stuff under wraps, I get it. But hold tight Alan, to accuse me of not knowing business is laughable. Where shall I begin? With the fact that in the late 1970s I had the longest windowcleaning round in Western Europe, 3 or the fact that in the late 1980s I had fourteen cheeseburger vans going like a train 24 hours a day? 4 Or shall we talk about me being Broughty Ferry Businessman of The Year twenty-three years running? 5
    You choose Alan. Just you choose. OK?
    Kind Regards,
    Mr Bob Servant
    Alan Thompson’s Best Pal and Hero
    National Oil and Investment
    Royal Plaza
    Togo
    ----------------
    From: Alan Thompson
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: OK Fine Bob
    Bob,
    OK, let us just forget the job title situation as this does not matter. Yes we are now pals for sure and I did not mean to say you are not a businessman. You must be a famous businessman in your country if you have done all this. What matters Bob is your order being processed properly by us and you can get your OIL and make this big money. Please fill in the form and send back for immediate processing.
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    CONTACT ADRESS:
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