Who Moved My Blackberry? Read Free

you would like to share, please e-mail. Or just e-mail to say Hi! That sustains me.
    I love you all
    Barry
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Graham Wallace
    Hi Graham—how goes it? Our Christmas was a classic of peace and harmony. Jake got pissed on Christmas day and threw up on the in-law’s new Axminster carpet. Btw, can’t remember if I mentioned to you that I’ve signed up with a top life coach? I’ve got Pandora Barry—she was trained up by the guy who did Chelsea Clinton, Nelson Mandela and Bill Gates. First session this pm—watch this space!!
    Have you read BM’s seasonal twaddle? A classic of its kind.
    Mart
    PS Fancy a drink later?
JANUARY 5
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Sylvia Woods
    Sylvia—what the hell is this budget meeting in my diary for 3pm? I’ve blocked out that hour to talk to my coach on the phone. E-mail Roger I can’t come.
    Can you get me two liters of mineral water and a latte?
    M
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Pandora@CoachworX!
    Hi Pandora!
    Great to talk to you just now. I was impressed at how quickly you got my number—I can actually be quite awkward at times—but when I click with someone then the sky’s the limit!
    As we discussed, the top-of-the-range Coachworx! Platinum Service would be most appropriate. As I understand it, you would be available on a 24/7 basis on the telephone and by e-mail and face 2 face to coach me through ongoing issues as they surface, and would bill A&B @ £300 per hour.
    I need to get our finance director Roger Wright to greenlight the expenditure, but I anticipate that as a formality.
    All my very bestest
    Martin
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: JennyLukes@PRPalace
    Darling—First coaching session was SENSATIONAL! Pandora clearly thinks I’m destined for the very top.
    She’s a fascinating woman—used to be a ballet dancer but then had a breakdown and got cancer—was given six months to live, but basically coached herself into remission.
    She says I have this amazing power inside myself. I just have to learn how to unlock it!
    Only issue was that I ate four bourbon biscuits while talking to her—which was very bad news with the Atkins. Will tell all tonight.
    Love you, M
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Jenny Lukes
    Actually, darling, I think you’ve got it arse around tit. Coaches aren’t “untrained shrinks”—they’re experts in lifting performance. Pandora says lots of the people she’s coached have increased their income ten times as a result of the program!!! Do you have any IDEA what that would mean for you? You could chuck in your job and become a Lady Who Lunches! And we could have our garden relandscaped with the Chatsworth style water feature that you admired at Chelsea last year—only ours could be bigger.
    See you 9 ish—
    Love M
    PS Big juicy steak would be nice … quite fancy a slab of dolcelatte for afters and that lovely chocolate cake of Nigella’s that doesn’t have any flour in it …
JANUARY 6
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Roger Wright
    Hi Roger
    Yesterday I had the first complimentary coaching session with Pandora Barry of CoachworX!, and would like to proceed with the Executive Platinum Coaching Program. I am attaching the fee schedule.
    Bestest, Martin
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Roger Wright
    Hi Roger
    You ask: why do I need a coach? You’re probably thinking that as I’m highly successful already, I don’t need one. But look at it this way—Tiger Woods has a coach. Wayne Rooney has a coach. They don’t need one, but they have one because they feel more comfortable with the career success that a coach can provide. Even Pandora herself has a coach because she is committed to consistently beating her best.
    I realize she charges a premium price, but in this business if you pay monkeys you get peanuts.
    Martin
    From: Martin Lukes
    To: Pandora@CoachworX!
    Hi Pandora
    Some bad news, I’m afraid. I have been informed by Roger Wright, our