What is the Matter with Mary Jane? Read Free

diabetic.
I’ve decided I’m not eating any more junk food.
I have some weird stomach bug.
I’ve just been jogging.
A whole lot of us have decided to boycott Domino’s… it’s a political thing, something about guerilla fighters and the Gaza Strip.
I’m have bowel tests tomorrow morning so I can’t eat. Yes what a shame.
I have to study.
I’m diabetic… Oh, I said that already?
I have to babysit my brother.
I’ve ground down my teeth so I can’t eat meat.
I’m going to the pictures with Mum.
I have to wash my hair.
The cat’s sick, got to catch the vomit.
Er… I have to wash the car?
I have to rearrange all my underwear in very big baskets according to their size and colour… lots of baskets…
    Look Gen… I’m just not hungry… OK?
Have a good time.
Bye.
    SANCIA hangs up the phone and stands, lonely and lost. She goes to her desk and opens her books but can’t do anything.
    [Muttering under her breath ] Maybe I could go later? No, no, work, work, work, you need to work.
    Again she tries to work but can’t. She talks to her ‘other self’.
    I was wondering when I could go out again?
You already go out.
No, I mean out, out.
    Well, where?
To a film.
Someone’s made a film on year 11 Physics, have they?
    Can I go to a party?
I’m sorry, but not with that acne all over your face.
Where?
    I can see a pimple.
What about a book? Can I read a book?
If you think you can take time off study it’s up to you. I don’t care if you fail.
    Maybe I’ll phone Gen.
Who wants to listen to you?
But she is my best friend.
    WAS, you mean. Don’t you know everyone thinks you’re weird?
Well, I was invited on a bushwalk.
Yeah, everyone will get a good laugh at lunch when you pull half a lettuce and ten raisins out of your backpack.
    I could fly a kite for a bit.
    What use is that to anyone? There are people starving in Africa, you know.
    Hey… I could go for a bike ride. That burns up heaps of calories.
    Now you’re talking… 50 ks should do it.
    Hmmm… well, I guess I’ll do more study.
    What about your sit ups, lazy bones?
    Alright, how about I do 250?
    Good girl.
    But when will I be allowed to stop all this?
    When you’re perfect.
    IN THE TOILET
    SANCIA stands up and addresses the audience again.
    Well hey… if you can’t leave the house, you may as well chuck down a couple of laxatives…or forty… and enjoy a good night in.
    SANCIA is now sitting on a toilet, looking like she might be there for quite a while. She reads things on the back of the toilet door.
    â€˜What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ Thanks Mum… hmm I’m going to put my Grumpy Cat and LOL Cats pictures up.
    She sighs, bored.
    SANCIA looks at a pile of trash magazines.
    Oh well if you’re stuck in a toilet for a billion years you can always make yourself feel a trillion times worse by reading TRASH MAGS—cos if you didn’t feel trashed about yourself before you started—you will by the time you’re through—TRASH MAGS! Let’s see. [ She pulls them up one by one. ] What do we have have hmm, body shaming, body comparing, body shaming, body comparing. Ah! Here we go—Miranda Kerr! Stand by for some wisdom… hmm… health tips, check this one out—apparently to look like Miranda Kerr all I have to do is be dairy free, carb free, gluten free, sugar free, meat free, no. No—Miranda Kerr looks like Miranda Kerr because of genetics—and Photoshop.
    SANCIA thinks about this.
    To be honest—I have never understood why someone would want to be a model. What? Do you just wake up one morning and think, ‘Hey, I know what I want to do with the rest of my life, I want to change my clothes 100 times a day and walk up and down in time to music.’ Talk about an underachiever.
    SANCIA keeps flicking.
    Ooooooh here’s my favourite… Diary of a