West For Love (A Mail Order Romance Novel) Read Free Page A

pillow, staring out a window. Her parents had gone to
bed and something bothered Anna, something telling her that Abigail needed her.
She walked into the room with care, not wanting to scare or embarrass Abigail.
Abigail did her best to put on a straight face each day. There were times when
memories bothered her - the last time she really cried was when William made
his comment about time, referring to the death of Abigail’s husband - but
mostly Abigail held herself together.
    Not tonight.
    Anna sat next to her and thanks to
their sisterly bond, Anna didn’t need to say a word to begin to comfort Abigail.
She touched her back and rested her head on her big sister’s shoulder.
    After a few minutes, Abigail took a
deep breath and that ended the weeping.
    Just like that.
    She somehow trained herself to just
turn it all off.
    “Do you want to talk about it?”
Anna asked.
    Abigail stood and Anna remained on
the bed.
    “Sometimes I dream about him,”
Abigail said staring out the window.
    The darkness outside somehow made everything
look spooky, as though Abigail were speaking to the darkness that perhaps
resided inside her.
    “That’s okay,” Anna said.
    “It’s not,” Abigail said. “How can
I love again? It would... it would have to be arranged, wouldn’t it?”
    “What do you mean?”
    “I couldn’t find someone to love,”
Abigail said, “I’d have to be arranged to be married. Then the commitment would
take over and matter more.”
    Anna swallowed. These were feelings
much deeper than the ones she held inside at the moment.
    “When I saw you and William
together,” Abigail said, “it gave me hope. It gave me purpose, Anna.”
    “I gave you purpose?” Anna asked.
    She was shocked. She never
considered having any sort of impact on her big sister’s life.
    “Of course you did,” Abigail said.
“I knew you didn’t love him. Your eyes told me that. But it worked. You had an
arrangement and a commitment. It made me really feel that someday I could have
the same. I waited for you to love William though. But you never did...”
    Abigail’s voice trailed off as the
pain began to rustle up in Anna’s chest. She had an inkling of where the
conversation was heading. The smart decision would have been to stand and hug
her sister. Then leave the room. But Anna didn’t move.
    She waited. And listened.
    “You never conceived a child with
him and he left you,” Abigail. “Just like that. So quick. Without an ounce of
remorse. My hope is lost now, Anna. If someone could change their mind and
heart like that... what’s the use?”
    “Abigail,” Anna said, “you can’t
look at my life like that.”
    “But I can!” Abigail cried. “You
didn’t love him. And because of that you couldn’t have his child. You couldn’t
give him what he wanted. And... now...”
    Abigail held her breath and Anna
wanted to plead for the rest of the sentence, but it came a moment later, after
Abigail closed her eyes.
    “...everything is ruined.”
    “I’ve ruined everything?” Anna
asked in a whisper.
    “You never loved him. You never
fell in love.”
    “It wasn’t my choice,” Anna said.
    “And I’ll never have the choice
then either,” Abigail said. “I’ll be like this... forever.”
    Anna stood from the bed but didn’t
go near her sister.
    Maybe that was the final piece of
harsh truth she needed to hear. Hurting her parents was one thing. They were
really interested in the financial and social benefits of the marriage between
Anna and William. With Abigail, it was something more. It was emotional and it
certainly impacted Abigail’s life in a way that kept Anna up for the rest of
the night.
    Into the wee hours of the morning
all Anna could think about was how much trouble she had caused. Did her
inability to give William a child really come down to love? Was there something
greater than the coming together of man and woman to create a child? And to
Anna’s own defense, she begged herself to understand