Weekend at Vidu's: A Dead Drunk Short Read Free

see some of Vidu’s friends shooting zombies before
piling into an SUV and taking off at high speed.
    She smiled.
“Ahh, that’s where I recognized you. You’re the Paki that hangs out with those
guys from across the street, aren’t you? So what’s going on? You and everyone
else in the neighborhood hopped up on angel dust? Bath salts? Krokodil?”
    Of course,
Vidu had no reply other than to bite the air and drool like an idiot.
“Surprised an old lady knows about that stuff?” she asked and unplugged the
extension cord running to the jukebox.
    Eileen walked
a little closer and Vidu’s free arm shot out to grab her. But the old lady
merely caught his wrist and soon had his other arm tied to the bronze bar rail
with the cord. She was much stronger than she looked.
    “One of your
friends, the one called Smokey, has been selling pot in the bathroom here for
years. I’ve learned all sorts of stuff from him.” With a wistful look on her
wrinkled face, she stopped her monologue to pour and down another drink.
“Sweet, sweet Smokey. Anyway, I noticed you never left a tip in all the times
you’ve been in here drinking. Now that was rude, maybe even bordering on
naughty. And eating my best customer, well, that was just plain rotten.”
    Eileen
sauntered over to Vidu as seductively as a one-legged octogenarian could and
promptly slapped him across his slobbering face. Then she reached down the
front of his pants and fished around for a moment. “So it looks like I’m gonna
get that tip after all.” Disappointment crossed her face, and then she
shrugged. “I guess at my age beggars can’t be choosers, am I right?” She
dropped her actual granny panties to the ground as Old Jake’s lifeless eyes
looked on.
    What happened
next was lurid and perverted, but had Vidu been consciously participating, he
would have enjoyed every second of it. All fifteen of them.
    “You have got
to be kidding me. That’s all you’re good for? I’ve had better—”
    The
short-lived though furious zombie-sex had loosened the power cord enough that
Vidu’s hand had slipped out. He was able to grab the trash-talking senior by
the throat and pulled her in for a massive bite to the shoulder.
    Eileen
screamed and backed away, leaving behind an oozing mass of tissue that her
former captive scarfed down with gusto. She stumbled to the bar and poured one
final glass of bourbon as Vidu tugged violently once more on the handcuff. The
lubrication from his blood combined with the fact that Eileen hadn’t made the
cuffs tight enough to begin with let Vidu’s other hand pop free.
    He charged
forward to finish her off, but stopped cold when Eileen’s whiskey glass
shattered on the floor. She had turned, and now the pair of zombies looked
stupidly at each other in silence like an awkward couple with nothing to say.
    Due to his Sri
Lankan upbringing, Vidu had always held the elderly in high esteem, which meant
this event was all the more sordid. Unbeknownst to anyone else, he had worked
so hard to rip people off at the dealership in order to send money home to his
relatives. The truth was, Vidu was half the douchebag his friends thought he
was. But if they could only see him now: pantless and covered in God knows what
kind of bodily fluids while fraternizing with a one-legged granny named Eileen
of all things. The jokes would practically tell themselves. Only it wasn’t
funny.
    There was a
clicking sound as the front door unlocked from the outside. It was one of
Eileen’s sons coming to look for dear old mom. Big mistake.
    Both zombies
were upon him before he even stepped inside, and the expressions on his face
went from surprise to fear to sadness in mere moments.
    Done with
their feast, the new summer/winter couple tore off down Armitage Avenue in
search of new victims with Eileen falling behind due to her age and health
conditions.
    A few blocks
away, a handful of other cannibals were attempting to break into the local
charter school while