Weekend at Vidu's: A Dead Drunk Short Read Free Page A

children from the summer breakfast program screamed
inside, further driving the zombies into a frenzy.
    An old pickup
truck bounced the curb and stopped with a rattle as a potbellied man hopped out
and quickly moved to the bed of his truck. His name was Tom Fisher, and he was
the school’s gym teacher and volunteer landscaper. Tom had come to school that
morning to pull weeds, but he was about to get his hands dirty with work of a
very different kind.
    One zombie
ceased pounding on the door and made his way to the truck, as did Vidu and
Eileen.  Tom turned to face them and then pulled the starter rope on his
old sixteen-inch chainsaw, usually employed for cutting down small tree limbs.
It fired right up and he gave a quick swipe at the lead zombie, catching the
former alderman right underneath the chin.
    The gush of
blood was more than Tom expected and it immediately waterlogged the chainsaw
just as the Sri Lankan arrived, hungry and half-naked. So Tom improvised and
slapped him in the face with the steel blade, knocking him down and opening a
deep gash on his forehead. The wound bled directly into Vidu’s eyes, forcing
him to search for his prey using those newfound super hearing abilities. While
he reached about blindly, the teacher furiously tried to restart the chainsaw.
    Of course,
this is when Eileen caught up and climbed right over Vidu’s back. In her haste,
the woman’s prosthetic leg came loose and she toppled over. To add insult to
injury, the chainsaw started back up and Tom brought it down hard, lodging it
six inches into her skull.
    Still blinded
and now disoriented by the loud chainsaw, Vidu pounced after Tom in the wrong
direction and was immediately hit by a passing car, whereupon his naked lower
half became lodged in the windshield.
    Tom yanked
his improvised weapon out and retreated to the rear of the dilapidated school
as the car disappeared around the corner with Vidu flailing away.
    Minutes later,
a passenger in the car was finally able to push Vidu back through the
windshield, jingle bells and all.
    He hit the
pavement at high speed and rolled for twenty yards before the curb stopped him.
Unfazed, Vidu sat up with a mean case of road rash and his left arm dangling
uselessly beside him, shattered in six places. The good thing was he couldn’t
feel it.
    So far that
morning he’d had his fingers bitten off, been turned into a zombie, and then
got beaten with a fake leg before getting kidnapped and raped by an old woman.
After that, he’d been smashed in the face with a chainsaw and hit by a car. And
it was only 9:30.
    But he had
neither the capability nor the inclination to dwell on the past. So when the
unmistakable sound of children’s laughter reached his ears, as did the loud
noise of a carousel, Vidu stood up in a hurry, banging his head on an
elephant-shaped sign. It read “Zoo Parking,” but it might as well have read
“Free Food,” because that’s what he was after.
    Battered and
bloody but far from broken, Vidu headed towards the happy sounds. Unfortunately
for many, many people, his morning was just picking up steam.

 
    Check Out “Dead
Drunk: Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse... One Beer at a Time”
     
    Charlie Campbell was your average, balding, thirty-year-old
alcoholic with a dead-end job and a penchant for shambling through life one
mistake after another. However, none of that mattered following the sudden
arrival of a mysterious sickness that brought with it infected mobs of
zombie-like creatures thirsting for the flesh of the living.
     
    Trapped in a Chicago apartment the morning after a raucous
bachelor party, Charlie and his old fraternity buddies must battle for survival
against the cannibalistic horde, a military invasion and their own rampant
stupidity.
     
    With supplies, common sense and brain cells dwindling by the
hour, the motley crew — including a racist cop, a Sri Lankan used car salesman,
a stoner landlord and a pet raccoon — must pull out all the stops to