officers, and they all have the same mindset in common. Once they’ve been sworn in and get to wear the badge and gun, there are only two types of people in the world – cops and bad guys. They know that they can depend on any other cop in the country to watch their back, and the rest of the people out there are nothing more than possible future suspects in all the bad things that are sure to happen.
The unfortunate part about their philosophy is that it keeps them from becoming friendly with that large part of the population not wearing badges. I guess it’s because they don’t want to get close to people who they might have to arrest someday. They want to keep their distance because it helps them to believe that even the most innocent-looking citizen is guilty of a crime.
Personal feelings aside, I’ll do this for the kid. I have no idea why she wants me to go with him, but I’ve learned not to question her messages. She always has some reason that’s better than any objection I can ever come up with, so I just do as I’m told.
Whenever there’s a police-involved shooting, the assumption is that it’s a traumatic experience for the cop who did the shooting, so they routinely require a visit to the shrink, who must make an official recommendation that the officer is emotionally and psychologically fit to return to regular active duty.
To avoid the possibility of familiarity, they use a rotating system so that no officer ever knows what psychologist he’ll be visiting until the actual time of the appointment. Tony is scheduled for a one o’clock session tomorrow afternoon at the shrink building on Hollywood Boulevard, just a few blocks west of Vine Street.
The other part of the message is a reminder to return Olive’s telephone call. She’s already called three times and I’m told that she’s starting to sound desperate.
Stuart Schwarzman is a close friend of mine, and one of the most entrepreneurial people I’ve ever met. In the last year alone, he’s been extremely successful in starting businesses that provide a variety of products and services, including weight-loss juice, used Toyota Camry’s that he has trucked out from New Jersey, an armored car business called “he’s taking it with him” that’s hired by disgruntled heirs for funeral processions, and most recently, a service that imports young Thai girls for prospective American husbands. These activities are all in addition to his growing private investigation service that has proven itself very helpful in some of our firm’s recent lawsuits.
Stuart is usually good for about one fantastic new idea every six months, and he tries to get me involved in each one. Up to now I’ve avoided the temptation but he still keeps trying. He’s due for a new one any time now.
Stuart’s right-hand man is a former porno producer named Vinnie Norman, who along with his fiancée Olive, both drive armored cars for Stuart and take part in the private investigations. I tuck the note in my pocket and make a mental note to return her calls at my next opportunity. I would do it now, but the dog is sitting in front of me holding a leash in his mouth. This can only mean that he wants to take me out for my walk. He enjoys going with me because it means he gets a chance to ride in my big yellow Hummer, where he can stick his head out of the open sunroof and pretend like he’s flying. And he really does look like he’s flying, because before he can get his face into the wind, I have my instructions to attach his ‘Doggles,’ which are aviator-styled eye-protection goggles designed especially for dogs who want to stick their heads out of moving cars. Bernie sits in the front seat with his head sticking up out of the car’s open sunroof. With his aviator goggles on and large ears flopping in the wind, we’re a popular subject for tourists’ cameras as we motor down the street.
The reason we go in the car is because I refuse to pick up after him. Our