Depths Read Free

for
about an hour and a half and only managed to go what? Five miles?
Ten?
    I told him thanks and began to leave.
    “ Oh and sir, ” he called out.
    I stopped and faced him again.
    “ It's Monday, ” he continued, “the significance of
it being Monday is that... ”
    Monday? I thought today was Friday... I could be
wrong.
    “ Is there anything else I can do
for you? ”
    I shook my head no and left.

 
     

Book 1:
Surface

Chapter
1
    Beep! Beep! Beep!
    I bolted awake, hit the “ Off ” button and
collapsed back into bed. I needed to be back asleep. I was so close
this time. The dream, the dream, always the same goddamn dream. And
I was so close this time. As I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, I
glanced around. Everything seemed to be in place. I made a mental
note of all the details:
     
    Two shirts, one black, the other navy blue, both
crumpled in a heap on the floor to my right.
     
    Three pairs of pants, one to my right next to the
shirts, the other two pairs on the left. Two pairs were dark denim,
one pair was black.
     
    Alarm clock on night stand. Other than the clock,
the night stand was bare.
     
    Chestnut colored dresser to my left, top drawer
sticking out just a little bit, nothing on top of it.
     
    Directly in front of me, at the
other end of the room, was a 37 ” flat
screen LCD television setting atop a little black
mini-entertainment center with nothing else on top of
it.
     
    Work boots at the foot of my bed on the floor.
     
    My walls were navy blue, the door was white.
     
    Closet on my right, doors shut, also white.
     
    A little
dirty -clothes hamper that was overflowing
in the corner by the closet door.
     
    Everything was in order.
    While this little ritual of mine might seem a little
bizarre, there was good reason for it.
    For months now, I haven't been able to keep track of
whether or not I'm awake or asleep. Hard to say how long this has
been going on.
    Six months? A year?
    I don't know. But I do know that when you see
yourself in the mirror and your face isn't your face anymore, it's
a terrifying experience if you don't know if you're awake.
    Ever since I had that dream I've been
afraid to look in a mirror if I was unsure if I was awake or not.
If I was afraid, then I was awake. And just for good measure, I
stopped sleeping pretty much all together. I limited myself to a
couple hours a night at most. You can't dream if you're not asleep.
Granted, this did come with its own set of problems. My head is
filled with fuzz and gaps in my memory, unsure of what I did the
day before or even what day it was. I can't remember the people I
talk to, I mix up what I say to people and I continue conversations
with the wrong people.
    I generally have a hard time functioning at all.
It's not that I don't want to sleep. I truly want nothing more, but
I just can’t.
    The sun hadn't quite risen yet and the light was
just beginning to leak through my curtains. I didn't have to be
anywhere today, not until later at least, so I took my time waking
up.
    Today was Friday. I had been suspended from my job a
week prior, and yet I still woke up at the same time I normally
would for work, 5 A.M. I pulled on the pair of black pants next to
the shirt pile. They were cold. I generally kept my house cold but
it was a little more chilly than usual this morning. I made my way
into the hallway and into the kitchen, I was starving. I've always
had a fast metabolism and it felt like I hadn't eaten in days.
    Nothing in the fridge. Nothing in the freezer. Still
nothing in the fridge. I don't know why I do that. Fridge, freezer,
fridge. Habit I guess.
    The coffee finished brewing so I poured myself a
mug. It helped settle my stomach. As I leaned against the counter,
the dream from last night seeped into my head again.
    I was so close...
    I couldn't help but put too much thought into my
dreams. It could all be meaningless like some sleep experts say,
but I didn't think so. I hunted for the symbolism and the
connections