Undefeated - A New Adult Romance Novel Read Free Page A

didn’t slap me once when he slapped me. He slapped me until he was tired of slapping me, or until I learned my lesson.
    The second time I asked about wanting him to make love to me, he choked me and held me against the wall by my throat. I blacked out and woke up on the floor.
    The third time I asked, he held his knife to my throat and told me to never ask again. Josh has a temper, and I don’t want to learn any kind of lesson that has to do with a knife. I just want him to love me the way I love him.
    I try , and I try, and I try, but I can’t seem to ever make the right decisions with Josh. I always make bad decisions or make a mistake and make him mad. I wish just once that he would be happy with me, and maybe tell me he liked what I cooked him for dinner. I often wish he would just tell me he liked how I looked or notice when I got my hair cut or colored. The people I work with notice, but Josh never does.
    I try so hard .
    He used to tell me those things, but not anymore.
    Not since he held his knife to my throat.
    I was excited all week for tonight to get here. Josh told me if I didn’t do anything stupid all week, he would rent a movie on Friday and we would try to watch it together. I hoped that tonight would be the night that things turn around. If we could get along for just one night, I would hold on to those memories for ever.
    As I sat in the truck and read, Josh got out and walked toward the Red Box to get the movies.
    I sat quietly and read quickly as Josh looked through the selection of movies that were available to rent. Reading was my form of escaping. I could escape everything by reading. It was easy for me to dream of being the character in the books that I read. A good book could make me laugh, cry, or get so aroused that I had to touch myself. Without reading, I would go c razy - completely crazy. My Kindle had become my savior.
    “They ain’t got Black Hawk Down or Pulp Fiction ,” he said over his shoulder as he stood in front of the Red Box, staring at the screen.
    We haven’t watched too many movies together over the ten years we’ve been together, but we’ve seen those two movies no less than a dozen times a piece. I like doing anything with Josh, but sometimes I wish he would think about something that would make me happy. I’d like to watch The Notebook or something like that. Maybe Safehaven .
    “Well, fuck. They ain’ t got nothin’ to watch at this shit-hole. Fuckin’ pisses me off. Maybe we should just hit the liquor store and get a thirty pack and hang out at the house,” he said as he got into the truck.
    I slipped the Kindle into my purse.
    My heart sank as he started the truck.
    Josh drank a lot. When he drank, it made me shake. When he drank, he was always mean. He always said he deserved to drink; because I drove him crazy, or he had a tough day at work. I tried to hide from him when he drank, but hiding tonight would be impossible to do.
    “Why you got that shitty look on your face?” he muttered as he shoved his lip full of tobacco.
    I shook my head slowly.
    “What? You got something to say? I really ain’t in the mood for your mouth, you little bitch,” he barked as he wiped his hand on his jeans.
    I wanted to tell him to get a different movie. I felt like crying. Why couldn’t we have a night together that we didn’t fight? Why did he have to drink so much? Why did he have to chew tobacco? It made his breath stink and his teeth were brown. To have him, for one night, be kind to me – I’d let him beat me for a week.
    A week of having my face slapped and called names.
    In exchange for one night of calling me beautiful and kissing me.
    “I asked you a fucking question,” his jaw clenched as he shut off the truck.
    Oh no. Not here. Please not here. Please, Josh.
    “You see what I mean? You fuckin’ ask for it. It’s like you want it. I’ll never understand what drives you to fight with me, woman,” he said, and then opened the truck door and stepped out