into the call log; I seek out Adrian’s number and push send. I hold the phone to my ear as it rings and I hope for my sanity that he answers . The phone rings constantly but he does not answer. I hang up and try again but still no answer. After ten missed calls, I decide to text him instead. I quickly click on the message tab and I compose a text to Adrian, Adrian I have tried to call you but you do not answer. I am worried why you are not here with me. The last time we spoke, you were here in New York and I cannot tell you how happy that made me. I want you to know that I am going to be fine and I do not blame you for this in anyway. I miss you and I need you please Adrian let me know that you are safe and that you still love me. I will not live without you, as you are my world. I love you and I will wait for your call all my love A lanna! As I hit send, I cannot hold back my tears , they are flowing freely down my face, and I sob for what seems like hours. My tears finally stop and I pull myself up into the bed. I go back into my emails but there is none from Adrian. Thinking of my friends and of how worried they must be I open an email from Sophie to read, Alanna I am so worried about you , I have been to your bedside every day and I cannot wait to hear your voice again. Everyone is wishing for you to get well soon . W e all miss you and we are all waiting for you to get better and start to boss us around again! Instead of replying to Sophie’s email, I decide that I will call her . S he obviously does not know that I have woken up and I want to hear her voice I also feel that maybe she could know where Adrian is. “Hello A lanna!” Sophie says and her voice is loud and gleeful . “Yes Sophie it’s me . ” “Oh A lanna I am so relieved that you are ok ay, you are ok aren’t you?” “Yes I am fine , a bit sore but I’m good . ” “I am so glad to hear your voice I can’t believe what happened to you . ” “I know it was awful . Sophie , have you heard from Adrian?” “Alanna , it was more than awful I thought you were going to die ! ” “But I didn’t I am fine and we have to move on from it now . ” “A lanna , I can’t understand how you are so calm about this . I f it were me I would be a mess . ” “I have to be ok with it. It happened and I have to accept it . ” “You are the bravest person I know ! ” “A nyway Sophie have you heard anything from Adrian?” “He still hasn’t showed up?” “No , I am worried have you spoken to him?” “Alanna , the last time I spoke to him was after your surgery . ” “What did he say ? Y ou have to tell me everything ! ” “I will A lanna but not over the phone are you allowed visitors?” “I think so my mom was here all day . ” “Okay I won’t be long . ” I hang up the phone and I wonder what Sophie has to say. She must know more than my mom if she did not then she would just have told me on the phone. “Miss H art your lunch , ” a small older nurse says as she walks in with a tray of food. She slides over the table and I sit up fully in the bed. Sh e hands me a tray of food consisting of soup and yogurt I lo ok at her. “This isn’t what I ordered ! ” “S orry dear but the doctor has ordered this for you . H e feels that what you originally chose would have been too heavy for you with the pills you are on . ” I roll my eyes a little . I am starving and this little bowl of soup and the tiniest yogurt I have ever seen are most defi ni t e ly not going to fill me. “Thanks , I guess , ” she smiles at me and then she heads back out of the room. I sip at the bowl of soup that has no taste. I remember the wonderful meals that Maggie prepared for me and I think back to the first night that I ate with Adrian. The massive , elegant , s il ver trays that were filled with every kind of food . I remember his voice and the way his eyes glowed . T he first time he kissed me was that night and it was like