positions in the new entity. They will have key roles to play in each day’s closing parades at Disney’s various theme parks.
When asked whether hell’s acquisition might not be in conflict with Disney’s prime objective of providing family entertainment, a company spokesperson replied, “Not at all. The synergies from owning everything are enormous. Think of High School Musical set in Hades.
Besides, it isn’t just about entertainment. There is the punishment factor if people don’t tune in to our programming. Of course, a small percentage of the population already thinks watching Disney shows is a trip to Hell. We’re still not sure what to do about that faction.”
Some of Marvel’s stable of comic book characters were contacted by reporters for their reactions to the latest news.
“Jiminy!” said the Green Hulk. “I’m just getting used to reporting to a cricket and now this is being thrown at me. It’s making me angry and Disney won’t like me when I’m angry.”
“I’m having trouble fitting mouse ears over my horn stumps,” said Hellboy. “But if the new deal goes through, it will be like going home for me.”
The era of the big getting even bigger seems to be gaining momentum at this stage of the business cycle. In other financial news, a huge unnamed international oil company is in negotiations to buy all of the air we breathe. This is likely to receive a stamp of approval from North American regulators, but it may be held up by authorities in Europe who are supposedly concerned about some conflict of interest issues.
As well, several foreign sovereign wealth funds are known to have an option on buying Mars. Interest in this solar system’s sun has also been expressed, but it is hard to conduct due diligence on something so unapproachable.
Investors knew something was up with Disney and Hell yesterday when Twitter traffic on the subject took off. It became the number one trending topic as the day wore on. The discussion is thought to have been led by Snow White’s little birds.
As for that other prime piece of real estate, Heaven, gatekeeper Gabriel has indicated there is no way it will ever be sold. However, the actual Pearly Gates may be another matter. Feelers have been put out on Craigslist. Sotheby wanted to handle the transaction, but it was not able to confirm that the pearls are actually real and not just cultured.
My Wife and I Argue over our New i-Phone
September 16, 2009
At the end of the day, Donna and I lie in bed and send messages out over Twitter by way of our new i-phone. The following is one of our typical conversations.
ME: Ho het yourwelf a hoof bool to reaf? That’s not what I typed.
DONNA: What did you mean to say?
ME: Go get yourself a good book to read. I was just sending a message to all my friends on Twitter. The keypad on this i-phone is so small, my fingers are mangling my message.
DONNA: You’ll get the hang of it. It’s incredible technology.
ME: I know. It’s a whole new world out there. I love this stuff.
DONNA: So you’re back on Twitter?
ME: Yes, but I have to think of something interesting to say. I’ve got it. I know what to tell everybody. Now summer is over, I’m going to stop eating popsicles. Do you think that will get me thousands of followers.
DONNA: No.
ME: What do you mean no? Will it get me one follower?
DONNA: Probably not. It doesn’t grab the attention.
ME: What am I going to do when even my own wife doesn’t find my tweets interesting?
DONNA: You have to think about what makes you read someone else’s posting.
ME: I pay attention to the picture and I like messages that are clear and easy to understand. I know what I don’t like. I don’t like all those letter abbreviations, things like BFF and LOL. They slow me down. I have to stop and think what they mean.
DONNA: Yes, but that’s the younger generation.
When asked whether hell’s acquisition might not be in conflict with Disney’s prime objective of providing family entertainment, a company spokesperson replied, “Not at all. The synergies from owning everything are enormous. Think of High School Musical set in Hades.
Besides, it isn’t just about entertainment. There is the punishment factor if people don’t tune in to our programming. Of course, a small percentage of the population already thinks watching Disney shows is a trip to Hell. We’re still not sure what to do about that faction.”
Some of Marvel’s stable of comic book characters were contacted by reporters for their reactions to the latest news.
“Jiminy!” said the Green Hulk. “I’m just getting used to reporting to a cricket and now this is being thrown at me. It’s making me angry and Disney won’t like me when I’m angry.”
“I’m having trouble fitting mouse ears over my horn stumps,” said Hellboy. “But if the new deal goes through, it will be like going home for me.”
The era of the big getting even bigger seems to be gaining momentum at this stage of the business cycle. In other financial news, a huge unnamed international oil company is in negotiations to buy all of the air we breathe. This is likely to receive a stamp of approval from North American regulators, but it may be held up by authorities in Europe who are supposedly concerned about some conflict of interest issues.
As well, several foreign sovereign wealth funds are known to have an option on buying Mars. Interest in this solar system’s sun has also been expressed, but it is hard to conduct due diligence on something so unapproachable.
Investors knew something was up with Disney and Hell yesterday when Twitter traffic on the subject took off. It became the number one trending topic as the day wore on. The discussion is thought to have been led by Snow White’s little birds.
As for that other prime piece of real estate, Heaven, gatekeeper Gabriel has indicated there is no way it will ever be sold. However, the actual Pearly Gates may be another matter. Feelers have been put out on Craigslist. Sotheby wanted to handle the transaction, but it was not able to confirm that the pearls are actually real and not just cultured.
My Wife and I Argue over our New i-Phone
September 16, 2009
At the end of the day, Donna and I lie in bed and send messages out over Twitter by way of our new i-phone. The following is one of our typical conversations.
ME: Ho het yourwelf a hoof bool to reaf? That’s not what I typed.
DONNA: What did you mean to say?
ME: Go get yourself a good book to read. I was just sending a message to all my friends on Twitter. The keypad on this i-phone is so small, my fingers are mangling my message.
DONNA: You’ll get the hang of it. It’s incredible technology.
ME: I know. It’s a whole new world out there. I love this stuff.
DONNA: So you’re back on Twitter?
ME: Yes, but I have to think of something interesting to say. I’ve got it. I know what to tell everybody. Now summer is over, I’m going to stop eating popsicles. Do you think that will get me thousands of followers.
DONNA: No.
ME: What do you mean no? Will it get me one follower?
DONNA: Probably not. It doesn’t grab the attention.
ME: What am I going to do when even my own wife doesn’t find my tweets interesting?
DONNA: You have to think about what makes you read someone else’s posting.
ME: I pay attention to the picture and I like messages that are clear and easy to understand. I know what I don’t like. I don’t like all those letter abbreviations, things like BFF and LOL. They slow me down. I have to stop and think what they mean.
DONNA: Yes, but that’s the younger generation.
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